On a blistering July day, I exchanged vows with my husband. After four years of dating, we got engaged and spent another year preparing for our wedding. On that special day, I was just 21, while he was 24.
Our Journey Begins
Our journey began when I was 16 and already in a relationship. He was newly single, and sparks flew immediately—we went on our first date that very night. Our outing included hot chocolate at Denny’s, and I was pleasantly surprised when he offered to pay for my drink. My parents, however, were less than thrilled. I was a high school sophomore, while he was a freshman in college—why wasn’t he dating someone his own age?
It didn’t take long for them to warm up to him. He was everything my past boyfriends weren’t—kind, respectful, and genuinely interested in my family. He would spend time with my younger siblings, help my dad with chores, and always made sure I was home by curfew. He was reliable and trustworthy.
Growing Together
We fell head over heels for each other, embracing the youthful notion that true love could overcome any obstacle. While he completed his degree and I graduated from high school, we supported each other’s goals and aspirations without letting romance interfere.
After he landed a job in St. Louis, I felt an urgent need to be closer. Weekend visits and late-night phone calls weren’t enough. During a family vacation, he proposed on the beach at sunset, and naturally, I said yes. Cue the cheesy love ballads!
Eleven months later, we tied the knot and embarked on our adult lives. He worked full-time, I was finishing my undergraduate studies, and we had our own apartment. We enjoyed lazy weekends, traveled together, and attempted to cook—though we quickly learned how to evacuate a kitchen filled with smoke.
Facing Challenges
Like any young couple, we faced our share of ups and downs. My husband lost his job unexpectedly but found another soon after. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition while finishing grad school and starting my first teaching job. We also dealt with the passing of grandparents and navigated the trials of buying our first home.
Reflecting on those early arguments, I realize they were often trivial and self-centered. Despite being young and still maturing, we were committed to making our marriage work. We were likely too young by today’s standards—just the other day, our eldest child joked about a supposed law that prohibits marriage before 30. We laughed, but honestly, I wouldn’t encourage my kids to marry during their college years.
Secrets to a Lasting Marriage
Now in my late thirties and my husband in his early forties, friends often ask for the secret to a lasting marriage. Many of them have been through multiple relationships by now. I remind them that time is a crucial factor. Our relationship matured over those five years of dating, allowing us to navigate life’s challenges together.
Marriage isn’t always a fairy tale; there are days we don’t even like each other. Often, it’s about minor things like dishes left in the sink or the tone of voice we use. However, I admire my husband for standing by me through my type 1 diabetes diagnosis, four adoptions, breast cancer, job losses, and chronic anxiety. He’s truly a keeper.
Teaching Our Children
I hope we’re demonstrating to our children what a healthy romantic relationship looks like, highlighting the importance of partnership over mere romance. Some days are devoid of romance, but they are filled with authenticity and commitment. So while I wouldn’t encourage my kids to marry young, I have no regrets about marrying at 21. After all, there are far worse things in life than saying “I do” to someone you love deeply.
Further Reading
For more insights, check out this blog post on home insemination and learn about the options available at Make a Mom. Additionally, this article on artificial insemination serves as a fantastic resource for those interested in pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Emily Roberts shares her personal journey of marrying young at 21, reflecting on the joys and challenges that shaped her relationship with her husband. Despite societal norms, she values her commitment and the growth they experienced together. While she wouldn’t advise her children to marry young, she has no regrets about her own choice, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and partnership in a marriage.
Keyphrase: marrying young and no regrets
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