I’ll always remember the kindness of a fellow mom who reached out to me during a chaotic library visit more than ten years ago. I was a new mom, overwhelmed and fatigued, trying to manage my energetic one-year-old. He had just discovered the joy of walking and was making a delightful mess—wandering around, fiddling with the computer, poking at the electronic book drop, and somehow triggering the library’s alarm every few minutes.
Every time I passed by another mom who was seated calmly at a table helping her school-aged daughter with homework, I felt the need to apologize for my son’s antics. Yet, she responded with nothing but understanding and kindness, which was a breath of fresh air in my otherwise stressful day.
Eventually, she beckoned me over to her table and kindly revealed that there were crayons and paper available for my son to color. While his interest in drawing was minimal, he happily occupied my lap, playing with the crayons (and probably sampling a few).
As we sat there, this mom genuinely asked how I was holding up—not the usual small talk, but a heartfelt inquiry. Feeling her openness, I shared my truth: “My son turned one a few weeks ago, but I’m still so exhausted. It feels like it hasn’t gotten easier, and maybe it’s even harder now that he can walk.” Her response felt like a warm hug. “Oh, sweetie,” she said, “he’s still a baby, and you’re still a new mom. Of course it’s tough. It doesn’t get easier for a while, and you’re not going to feel like yourself for years.”
Although our conversation lasted less than ten minutes, it left a lasting impression on me. Since my son was born, I had been in a constant state of waiting—waiting for things to become manageable, waiting for sleep to return, and waiting to feel like my old self again. It felt as if everyone expected me to transition back into my previous life as soon as my baby hit a few months old. This mom was one of the first to reassure me that my feelings were entirely normal, which was such a relief.
Recently, I was reminded of her kindness after seeing a tweet from a well-known mom, Lisa, who shared her experience returning to a yoga class after having her son 18 months prior. She recounted sharing her postpartum struggles with the instructor, who responded with understanding, saying, “Well didn’t you just have a baby!?” This small acknowledgment was a powerful reminder that our bodies take time to recover and that healing is not a race.
It’s essential for new moms to hear these messages. In the comments section of Lisa’s post, countless moms expressed gratitude for the validation, emphasizing that it can indeed take years to feel like oneself again after childbirth—and that’s perfectly okay.
Inspired by my encounter years ago at the library, I now make it a point to offer support to new moms I see. If I notice someone struggling with a toddler or expressing dissatisfaction with their postpartum body, I ensure to let them know they are 1000% normal. A simple gesture, a “No need to apologize,” or “I totally understand” can make a world of difference. If the moment allows, I share my own experiences with them, reinforcing that they’re not alone on this journey.
It truly takes a village—not just to raise the child, but to support the parents as well. We can all contribute by reminding new moms that it’s okay to take their time to heal and adjust. It’s crucial for them to hear that they are not alone in their struggles, especially when society often pushes unrealistic expectations.
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In Summary
The compassion and understanding I received from a fellow mom during a challenging time have shaped how I interact with new parents. By sharing our experiences and offering reassurance, we can foster a supportive community for those navigating the tumultuous journey of parenthood.
Keyphrase: Kindness from a Fellow Mom
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