Here’s that nagging thought creeping in: “I’ll just quickly check my email to make sure everything’s on track.” Sound familiar? This is a sentiment many of us, especially working moms, experience every morning. The struggle between wanting to disconnect from work and the urge to stay plugged in creates a confusing dilemma, leading us to check emails as soon as we wake up.
If you’re like me, the holiday season brought a brief respite from work. For some, this break commenced early, while others only got time off starting Christmas Eve and ending the day after. My own time off began with the submission of final grades and lasts, in theory, until the spring semester kicks off—around four glorious weeks! However, for those of us in education or community-focused roles, this luxury is often fleeting. Each day, I find myself contemplating work—whether it’s updating my CV, preparing syllabi, or engaging in mental to-do lists. Ironically, I often end up working on not working! The question looms: how can I silence the incessant worries about work?
I know I’m not alone in this struggle. My experiences in group therapy, mom meet-ups, and discussions with fellow academics reveal that this internal voice, urging us to constantly work, is a shared plight. Most of us have devised ways to counteract this inner critic, yet the origin of this mentality often stems from deep-seated societal expectations.
Growing up, especially for children of color or girls, we received a consistent message:
- Always give your best
- Duty and honor come first
- Lean in
- Effort earns an A
- Give it your all
- Try harder
As adults, I can now recognize these messages as coercive and often rooted in sexism and racism, designed to mold us into diligent workers. Yet as children, we simply sought love and acceptance, striving to meet these expectations—often at the cost of our own awareness of what we were sacrificing.
Now, I strive to set boundaries, but that process is exhausting. Doubts about our commitments and judgments about how we spend our time can distort our reality, making it crucial to reclaim our power. Simultaneously, the responsibilities of motherhood add another layer of complexity. Conversations about whether parenting should be labeled as “work” often arise—how can we compare something so vital to traditional careers? The desire for more time with our children weighs heavily on many of us.
It’s essential to acknowledge that these discussions often come from a place of privilege. Did our mothers and grandmothers ever have the luxury to question if they wanted to juggle home and career? They didn’t have access to the technology that keeps us perpetually connected. Yet, the advancements that offer us choice can also feel like shackles. This ongoing dialogue about our experiences is, in itself, work—one that many will carry with them for generations.
So, how do we break free from the voice that incessantly calls us to work? Through grief and joy. We are deserving of a life where we don’t feel obligated to be productive all the time. We are entitled to rest and to grieve the time lost to relentless toil, and we should embrace joy in simply existing.
Yet another voice might chime in, trivializing our journey: “Just stop working.” This dismissive attitude undermines the hard work we put into seeking freedom and overlooks the barrage of messages we receive from society. The prevailing culture often pressures us to be perpetual laborers, a truth we must confront.
Remember that nagging voice? “I’ll just check my email quickly…” It embodies an ideology that can be suffocating. As an educator, I often find myself caught in this relentless cycle. As a mother, I respond to that voice with a firm: “It’s all good already.”
To all those striving to find time to rest and recharge: I stand with you. You don’t need to prove your worth through constant productivity. Your strength lies in your ability to embrace rest.
For further insights, you can explore our other blog post for a more comprehensive discussion here. And if you’re interested in learning about home insemination, you can refer to this excellent resource from Mayo Clinic here, as well as check out CryoBaby’s home intracervical insemination kit, a great authority on the subject.
In summary, working moms often grapple with the challenge of balancing work, personal life, and societal expectations. The journey toward finding peace amidst chaos involves recognizing our worth beyond productivity and embracing the joy of simply being.
Keyphrase: working moms breathing space
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