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By Jamie Carter
Updated: Jan. 16, 2020
Originally Published: Jan. 16, 2020
My daughter is a joyful and vibrant child. Her laughter is infectious, and her wide smile has the power to brighten not just our home but the entire neighborhood. She’s incredibly kind-hearted, always ready to lend a hand or share a comforting hug. Even her quirky sense of humor brings a lot of joy to our lives—though her knock-knock jokes definitely need some fine-tuning!
However, beneath that cheerful exterior lies a deep sensitivity. My daughter experiences anxiety that manifests in ways that can be quite overwhelming. When she faces stress, it often leads to emotional meltdowns, where she cries, screams, and sometimes collapses on the floor.
Childhood anxiety presents differently than in adults. As noted by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, physical symptoms like headaches and tummy troubles are common, along with challenges in focus and concentration. Negative behaviors such as irritability can also emerge. My daughter often feels misunderstood, particularly when we laugh at her antics; she interprets our laughter as mockery, which makes her feel vulnerable. Her fear of failure in school only adds to her distress.
It took me some time to connect the dots behind her mood swings and academic struggles. Initially, I assumed her tantrums were typical for her age and tried various approaches—talking, time-outs, and the removal of privileges—yet nothing seemed effective. By the spring of 2019, I realized we needed professional guidance and sought help from a counselor.
The counselor introduced us to the idea of creating a sensory space—a cozy corner filled with tactile objects for her to explore when she felt overwhelmed. Sensory therapy isn’t a novel concept; it’s often employed to support children with ADHD or autism, but it can also provide relief for those dealing with anxiety. Sensory toys engage children’s focus through appealing textures, colors, and shapes, which help to soothe them in moments of distress.
Setting up her sensory nook was a breeze. We hit the local dollar store and gathered a few small items: a stress ball, paddle ball, fidget spinner, and a comfy throw blanket. We chose a corner in her room to place these items along with some throw pillows and discussed how she could use each tool when she needed to calm down.
When she felt angry, squeezing her Baby Shark stress ball became a go-to. During moments of sadness, hugging her “Feel Better Bear” with its soft fur provided comfort. And when things became too much, she would wrap herself in her beloved pink fleece blanket, which is exclusively hers.
The most significant shift, however, came when my husband and I altered our approach entirely. Instead of attempting to control her feelings, we allowed her to navigate them on her own. We realized that creating a safe space meant recognizing her unique processing style, which required us to be more patient and understanding.
We stopped raising our voices and ceased trying to rush her emotional recovery. Instead of insisting she “get up” during a meltdown, we let her rest wherever she chose—be it on the bed, couch, or floor. We eliminated dismissive phrases from our conversations and began to offer her space and time, saying things like, “Why don’t you take a few minutes for yourself?” or “How about you play with your toys in your special corner?”
While we’ve made tremendous progress, it’s important to note that perfection is still a work in progress. Even after months of practice, we sometimes revert to old habits, like responding with frustration. My husband occasionally finds himself mirroring her screams, but we know that the pathway to deescalating her emotional state lies in calmness, distance, and that treasured sensory area.
For more insights into managing childhood anxiety, check out our post here. Additionally, for those looking for authoritative resources, visit Make a Mom for guidance on self-insemination, and the World Health Organization for excellent pregnancy resources.
Summary
Transforming our approach to my daughter’s anxiety has involved creating a sensory space and allowing her the freedom to process her emotions without pressure. With tools like stress balls and blankets, we’re finding effective ways to support her through challenging moments, nurturing her individuality and emotional growth.
Keyphrase: sensory tools for anxiety
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