As we near the one-year mark since my son’s autism diagnosis, I reflect on my evolution as a parent. Today, I proudly embrace my son’s unique qualities—his determination to achieve his goals in his own remarkable way. He’s autistic, wonderful, and embodies everything that a little boy should be.
A year ago, I was filled with uncertainty and fear about my ability to support him. The news of his autism diagnosis left me reeling in ignorance. When a kind and encouraging doctor informed me of my child’s condition, I was overwhelmed with panic. How could I be the mom he needed?
It took time to process my feelings. I initially felt compelled to read everything I could about autism, drowning in a sea of information. Eventually, I shifted my perspective, viewing my son’s neurology not as a puzzle to be solved but as a beautiful mosaic. My role became one of observation—watching him piece together his world.
To truly grasp the nuances of autism, I turned to the most valuable resources available: autistic adults. While doctors and therapists can provide scientific insights and recommendations, the lived experiences of those on the spectrum offer invaluable lessons. The internet is filled with autistic individuals willing to share their stories, and I found that listening to them opened my eyes to various situations where I had previously felt lost.
It’s essential to recognize that it’s not their responsibility to educate parents like me, but many choose to do so with kindness and honesty. Here are some key insights I’ve gained from listening without resistance:
- Identity First Language Matters: Many autistic adults prefer to be identified as “autistic” rather than “a person with autism.” This choice emphasizes that autism is an integral part of their identity. As one individual articulated, “Autism is not something I carry; it is who I am.” I’ve adopted this language for my son, and if he prefers a different terminology in the future, I will respect that.
- Therapy Perspectives Are Crucial: Autistic adults have strong opinions about different therapies and interventions. While I won’t dictate what’s best for my child, I’ve learned to ask those with firsthand experience what worked for them and what didn’t. This knowledge can guide decisions and reveal unexpected paths to growth.
- Cure Is Not the Goal: Many autistic individuals are not interested in changing their neurology. As one person shared, “We wish neurotypical people understood that we don’t want to change who we are; we want acceptance.” It’s vital to know that the desire for a cure is not universal, and any so-called “cure” is often more harmful than helpful.
- Presume Competence: Assume your child can accomplish tasks with the right support. For example, if tying shoes is a challenge, consider alternatives like slip-ons or Velcro. Allowing a child to struggle without support is often unproductive and can be cruel.
- Understanding Non-Speaking Communication: A non-speaking individual I spoke with recalled understanding everything around her from a very young age, even before she could express herself verbally. Just because someone doesn’t use spoken language doesn’t mean they lack understanding.
- Confront Ableist Ideas: It can be uncomfortable to realize that we may hold ableist views or use language that isn’t inclusive. When someone points this out, embrace the opportunity to learn and grow.
- Diverse Experiences Exist: Autism manifests in countless ways. Some individuals may go undiagnosed until adulthood, while others may never speak. Autistic people can be found in every field and have a variety of relationships. Each autistic person is unique, just as all neurotypical individuals are.
- Community vs. Expertise: While I cherish connecting with other parents of autistic kids, I understand that my experience with my son doesn’t qualify me to speak for others. Listening to autistic adults remains the most vital resource in my journey.
If you find yourself navigating a recent autism diagnosis, seek insights from autistic voices. Take a moment to breathe, trust yourself, and embrace your child’s journey. Autism may present challenges, but it also opens doors to incredible opportunities. You’ve been loving your kid since day one, and together you will continue to learn and grow.
For more insights, check out this related blog post on Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, for those looking for authoritative resources on insemination, visit Make A Mom and WebMD.
Summary
This article explores the author’s journey of understanding her son’s autism through the voices of autistic adults. By shifting her perspective and embracing identity-first language, she highlights the importance of listening to those with lived experiences. The insights shared emphasize the unique challenges and strengths within the autism spectrum while encouraging parents to trust their instincts and support their children.
Keyphrase: Understanding Autism Through Lived Experiences
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