When my first child was born, I thought I had sleep figured out. She was a solid sleeper, and any late-night calls were typically easy fixes: a missing blanket, a quick bathroom trip, or a forgotten nightlight. But then came the night she screamed in sheer panic. I rushed in, expecting to soothe her after a bad dream, but it was a different story. I couldn’t wake her or calm her down. My sweet three-year-old was in the throes of her first night terror.
I quickly discovered that night terrors, classified as parasomnia, are not the same as your typical nightmares. A child waking from a nightmare can usually express their fear, and the memory lingers, often leading to bedtime anxiety. In contrast, night terrors strike before a child enters REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, typically occurring one to two hours after they’ve fallen asleep. These episodes most often affect children aged three to twelve, and while they can be alarming for parents, kids typically won’t remember a single thing.
I still vividly recall my anxiety and confusion watching my daughter during those episodes. She looked terrified but couldn’t seem to respond to me. If I tried to touch her, she would swat at me. When I offered her a water bottle after she asked for it, she pushed my hand away as if it were an unwanted gift. These confusing exchanges could last up to 30 minutes before she finally settled back down.
While I was relieved to see her finally resting, I couldn’t shake my own feelings of frustration and fear. Sometimes she would wander her room, looking for something only she could see, or yell her siblings’ names in a fit of confusion. Until I figured out how to handle these episodes, I was scared too.
Eventually, I learned that the best approach was simply to ensure her safety during these events. I removed potential hazards from her room, closed her bedroom door, and kept the gate at the top of the stairs locked. I had to trust that she was okay and that my instinct to wake her was misguided. According to pediatric psychologist, Dr. Sarah Jennings, trying to rouse a child from a night terror can make it harder for them to settle back down. Instead, she advised speaking softly and calmly while gently guiding them back to bed.
Night terrors can arise from various triggers such as stress, fever, sleep deprivation, or even certain medications. Since fatigue plays a significant role, Dr. Jennings suggests putting your child to bed earlier to help prevent these episodes. Most children outgrow night terrors by adolescence with no lasting impact, but if sleep disturbances persist or cause concern, it’s wise to consult a pediatrician.
Interestingly, night terrors can have a hereditary component. My youngest daughter experiences them, though less frequently than her sister did. When I ask about the previous night’s events, she looks at me as if I were the one stumbling around demanding a toothbrush at 12:30 a.m. My older daughter is now eight and hasn’t had a night terror in over a year, but she did witness her sister frantically looking for money to buy ice cream from a truck that didn’t exist.
Now, we can chuckle about those moments, but being awakened by a five-year-old shouting about ice cream is hardly enjoyable. One night, my youngest accused her twin brother of stealing her candy, shaking him awake in a desperate attempt to recover her treats. Each morning, she woke up with zero recollection of her nighttime escapades.
Even if it seems like kids aren’t bothered by night terrors, they disrupt sleep for everyone involved. If fatigue sets in, it can create a vicious cycle of more night terrors. Maintaining a consistent bedtime routine can help, and caregivers should ensure the child’s environment is safe during episodes.
The good news is that night terrors are typically harmless, and kids usually grow out of them. While it can be exhausting to watch your child flail about or sit up screaming in the night, they often provide some humorous stories to share later. For more insights on navigating parenting challenges, check out this related blog post.
In summary, while night terrors can be frightening for both kids and parents, they are benign occurrences that most children outgrow. Keeping a calm and safe environment can help mitigate the impact, and finding humor in the chaos can make those sleepless nights a bit more bearable. If you’re looking for more parenting tips, this resource is an excellent place to start, and for those considering home insemination, Make A Mom offers valuable information as well.
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