Years ago, I had a brief fling in my 20s with a guy named Jake. I may have convinced myself that I liked him, but deep down, I knew it was purely physical. He was heading to California soon, and we were both just looking for a good time—or at least that’s what I told myself.
The truth? Those late-night calls and surprise visits at 1 a.m. left me feeling less than thrilled. Sure, Jake was a nice guy, but the intimacy felt hollow, and I often wondered why I was sharing such a personal experience with someone who didn’t really care about my pleasure. He never even acknowledged my cute lace lingerie.
Maybe I was just lonely. Perhaps I craved someone who would appreciate me, but more likely, I held onto the hope that I could change his perception of me, impress him, and maybe then the mind-blowing moments would come. Spoiler alert: They never did.
When he moved away, I promised myself I’d never put myself in that position again. Those experiences left me feeling unfulfilled emotionally. I wanted a partner, someone to share my life with, not a casual encounter with a guy who didn’t even want me to meet his friends.
Fast forward nearly 25 years, and I found my husband—a man who respected me and shared my dreams. However, after 20 years of marriage, we drifted apart and fell out of love. Now, as I navigate through a divorce, my perspective on casual relationships has shifted dramatically.
These days, with a bustling career, household responsibilities, and three kids to manage, I have no desire to meet anyone’s friends. I’m not interested in sleepovers or cuddling; I love waking up alone and diving into my morning routine. I have no time for feelings or guilt over missed social gatherings. I’d much rather be home, cozying up with my kids.
I don’t need anyone else’s validation, whether that’s about my underwear or my lunch meetings with my ex. I invest in myself, and I wear those sexy pieces for my own empowerment.
For the first time, I genuinely want casual, no-strings-attached sex. This realization hit me a few months after my husband moved out. I was feeling fulfilled in many aspects of my life, but I missed the heat of intimacy. My trusty vibrator just wasn’t cutting it anymore.
I craved the thrill of dressing up in alluring lingerie, enjoying dinner, and then losing myself in a passionate encounter—only to part ways afterward. I sleep better alone, and I’d prefer to spend my free time with my sisters or friends instead of a partner.
I’m not seeking a relationship; I’m simply looking for fun, and that’s exactly what I’m getting. For the first time in my life, I can unapologetically embrace this desire. I’m not juggling a roster of partners—just one, which is all I have the bandwidth for, but it’s fulfilling and guilt-free.
Women should feel empowered to explore their sexual desires without strings attached if that’s what they wish. It’s about reclaiming control over one’s body and choices. In my 20s, I had time for emotional turmoil, but now, as a single mom in my 40s, I’m focused on enjoying great sex, occasional light conversation, and nothing more. And you know what? It’s absolutely liberating.
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Summary:
In this candid reflection, Amanda shares her journey from a lackluster casual fling in her 20s to embracing casual sex as a single mom in her 40s. After a divorce, she discovers the empowerment of seeking fulfilling, no-strings-attached encounters, prioritizing her own pleasure and autonomy over emotional entanglements. She emphasizes the importance of women taking charge of their sexual lives without guilt.
Keyphrase: casual relationships
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]