Dear little one,
As part of our nightly routine, I gently lowered your fun polka dot shade, dressed you in your cozy pajamas, and we sang our beloved lullaby, “Twinkle, Twinkle.” But tonight, there was a palpable difference. The act of closing that shade felt monumental — a heavy reminder of the changes ahead. My sweet child, we are on the verge of a significant transition.
Tonight marks the last time I will say, “I’ll see you in the morning when you wake up” as I close this door, sending you off to dreamland. This is the same door that welcomed you home from the hospital to your first bedroom. It’s the door we rushed through to celebrate your first Christmas. This room holds memories of your first night sleeping away from us after outgrowing co-sleeping. Now, it will be the last night you spend under one roof with both Mom and Dad. I must share this with you, even though it breaks my heart — Mom and Dad will no longer be living together, and I’m truly sorry for that.
When I shut the door tonight and heard you call out for “Daddy,” it felt like my heart shattered into pieces.
I’ve spent countless sleepless nights wrestling with how to address this with you in a way that you can understand — a way that doesn’t cause you unnecessary worry. It’s important for you to know that you are deeply loved by both parents who, although living just down the street from each other, will always be a part of your life. Yet, I often feel like a fraud because this situation is heartbreaking, and it feels like we’ve failed as a family. Perhaps I need to come to terms with this before I can explain it to you.
It may seem like we’ve failed in some ways, and perhaps we have. But looking at the bigger picture, we haven’t truly failed. We can’t fail, because you, my dear child, are the constant in our lives, the one we will always fight for.
Please understand that I made this decision out of love for our family. Everyone deserves happiness, peace, and respect. I refuse to fall into negative patterns and want to show you what genuine love looks like — not the superficial version that society often portrays. I want to keep things real and honest, even if it means making difficult changes in hopes of bettering ourselves and our family.
Who we are as individuals shapes us as parents. I am committed to being the best version of myself for you. I want you to see that doing what’s right isn’t always easy, and you should never settle for a situation or relationship that doesn’t honor your true self and worth.
Goodnight, sweet child. May your dreams be filled with the pure innocence of your two-year-old heart, whether you’re at Mom’s or Dad’s. No matter where you lay your head, remember that love envelops you.