After My Daughter Passed Away, My Grief Felt Like a Heart Attack

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On the morning my daughter succumbed to SIDS, I found myself standing barefoot on the chilly hospital floor, grappling with chest pains, nausea, vomiting, blurred vision, and shortness of breath—classic signs of trauma and fresh grief. Yet, surrounded by ER nurses and doctors, not a single person inquired about my physical state.

A little over a day later, I visited my OB’s office, declaring, “I think I’m having a heart attack; the pain is unbearable.” Unsurprisingly, my blood pressure was alarmingly high. The nurse practitioner urged me to stay put, have some crackers, sip on water, and lie on my side to tackle the hypertension.

The stark contrast in how I was treated at the hospital where my daughter was pronounced dead left me feeling disillusioned. How could they deliver such devastating news and then send me away without any guidance for navigating my new reality?

Leaving my OB’s office, however, brought a glimmer of hope. Although I didn’t see my usual doctor, I was given the personal contact number of the nurse practitioner who attended to me, along with a printout detailing symptoms that warranted a call to my physician, anxiety medication for my panic attacks, and a list of local resources for child loss when I felt ready.

During that half-hour ride home, I couldn’t help but think: this is how support for the grieving should be structured. In those fragile early days, bereaved individuals can experience a myriad of concerning physical symptoms that should not be overlooked—chest pains, high blood pressure, severe headaches, dizziness, fainting spells, and even suicidal thoughts, among others.

Research indicates that those who are grieving face a significantly heightened risk of cardiovascular issues. A study involving nearly 2,000 participants revealed that bereaved individuals are 21 times more likely to have a heart attack within the first 24 hours of loss and six times more likely within the first week. “It’s crucial for caregivers, healthcare professionals, and the bereaved themselves to recognize the increased risk during the days and weeks following a loved one’s passing,” notes Dr. Samuel Greene, a preventive cardiologist.

Jessica Thompson, a licensed mental health counselor specializing in EMDR therapy, explains that grief elevates cortisol levels—hormones that regulate various bodily functions, including metabolism and blood pressure. “These physiological changes triggered by emotional stress can lead to serious physical health issues,” she states.

In addition to the risk of heart attacks, grief can compromise the immune system and trigger inflammatory responses, allowing dormant health conditions to resurface and new issues, such as autoimmune diseases and chronic pain, to emerge.

Currently, there are no standardized protocols for managing the mental and physical health of those in mourning, but perhaps such measures should be implemented. It took me a year and a half to understand the toll my grief was taking on my body, a realization that came only after I noticed the wear and tear on my health.

Almost overnight, I became “that person” who fell ill more frequently than before. Since my daughter’s passing, I’ve endured two surgeries for seemingly random health issues and received a high blood pressure diagnosis just this year. This is the unspoken physical reality of grief—frequent sickness, cold chills, night sweats, debilitating fatigue, and persistent headaches. Yet, many healthcare providers often dismiss these symptoms, attributing them solely to emotional pain.

The healthcare system in America often lacks the necessary education to support grieving individuals, resulting in inadequate preventative care for their well-being. Thompson emphasizes that with a robust support system, therapy, self-care, and a tailored treatment plan, those who are grieving can positively influence their mental and physical health in both the short and long term.

Early intervention is crucial. This could involve addressing acute grief symptoms or offering ongoing support as individuals navigate their grief journey. However, physical symptoms remain unmanageable if both the bereaved and their healthcare providers fail to acknowledge the physiological impact of grief.

As the saying goes, “The only cure for grief is to grieve.”

In summary, the journey through grief can manifest in various physical symptoms that often go unrecognized. The importance of support, awareness, and prompt intervention cannot be overstated. For more insights on navigating the complexities of child loss, visit this link. Additionally, for those interested in the broader topic of fertility and insemination, this resource offers valuable information. For an in-depth understanding of artificial insemination, check out this excellent resource.

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