Recently, I was chatting with my adorable six-year-old niece, Lily. She excitedly shared that two of her friends had visited her earlier that day. I asked, “That sounds like fun! Did they come over to play?” She responded, “No, they came to apologize for pulling my hair.”
Taken aback, I asked her, “What did you say after they apologized?” Without hesitation, she beamed, “I accept your apology!” Her cute little voice made me chuckle, but I was curious about where she had learned such a mature response. She explained, “We learned it at school. If someone is mean, the teacher has us apologize, and it’s not complete until the other person says, ‘I accept your apology.’” Then, in her endearing way, she added, “I don’t know why we don’t do that at home. Home is just like school.”
Her words made me reflect, and they are spot on. During my five years of teaching social-emotional learning, I’ve discovered how crucial it is for parents to reinforce the lessons their children learn in school at home.
Many children from marginalized communities, particularly LGBTQ youth, have internalized negative messages about their identities, often exacerbated when such identities go unacknowledged by adults. Open and honest discussions at home can help curb bullying and mitigate its severe consequences, including addiction, depression, and even suicide.
A 2019 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) published in The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) revealed that the suicide rate among 15-24-year-olds in the U.S. has reached its highest level since 2000, with a notable increase among young men aged 15-19. Additionally, a recent report from US News and World Report highlighted that while depression rates among heterosexual teens have declined since 1999, LGB teens continue to experience high rates of depression, which have remained unchanged over the years.
From 1999 to 2017, around 33,500 teens were surveyed regarding their experiences with persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness. Among straight teens, about 30% reported feeling depressed for two weeks or more back in 1999, a figure that has since decreased. For LGB teens, however, the statistics are disheartening: approximately 51% reported depression in 1999, and nearly two decades later, that number has not shifted. Caitlin Stewart, director of the Family Acceptance Project, emphasizes the significant gap in social services available for LGBTQ youth, despite improved societal perceptions of LGB individuals.
Caitlin stresses the necessity of involving families and expanding social services to support these youths. “Kids are coming out earlier, and parents are more aware of sexual orientation and gender identity than ever. That’s encouraging, but we must rise to meet the growing demand for child development and family support,” she explains.
Just this week, I spoke with a young man named Alex who recounted his harrowing experiences with bullying in high school. I was taken aback as he is such a vibrant and outgoing person. When I expressed my disbelief, he remarked, “Why is that surprising? I’m a little gay kid.” Although he is now 22, his self-description reveals the lingering stigma that many LGBTQ youths face, often leading them to internalize blame for their bullying experiences.
As caregivers, it’s essential to communicate to children that they are never at fault for being bullied. No aspect of who they are should change to prevent such behavior. Suggesting that someone’s appearance or choices make them deserving of harassment only perpetuates harmful narratives. The focus needs to shift to the bullies and the underlying reasons for their actions. Until we change the conversation, the shame will persist in the minds of bullied youths, and some parents may still wish their children weren’t LGBTQ due to societal fears.
Recently, I spoke with a group of parents about what they wanted schools to address more frequently. One mother expressed, “I’d like to know what to do if my child is the bully.” While most parents envision their children as defenders or bystanders in bullying situations, there are times when our kids may indeed exhibit bullying behavior. Honest communication creates the opportunity to address this issue proactively.
Here’s a straightforward five-step approach for parents to implement:
- Recognize and discuss behaviors, language, and conversations.
- Observe friendships and social dynamics.
- Be open to uncovering and challenging negative messaging.
- Take action by openly calling out and addressing harmful comments.
- Encourage apologies and acceptance (I borrowed this insightful step from my niece).
It is vital for children to learn from their mistakes and to understand that forgiveness is a gift they give themselves, not just an obligation to others. Creating supportive systems at home, in schools, and in social settings can empower youth and significantly reduce bullying among LGBTQ individuals, while also helping to alleviate the destructive effects of shame.
In conclusion, fostering open dialogue and reinforcing positive behaviors at home can create a safer environment for all children, potentially preventing bullying and its associated harms. For more insights on parenting and support, you can check out this resourceful article here or explore this excellent guide on fertility treatment. If you’re interested in tools for self insemination, this site has reliable products to assist with that journey.
Summary
This article discusses the importance of addressing bullying behavior among children, particularly with a focus on LGBTQ youth. It emphasizes the role of parents in reinforcing social-emotional learning at home to prevent bullying and its negative consequences. The piece provides a practical five-step approach for parents to address and correct bullying behavior effectively.
Keyphrase: “Is Your Child the Bully?”
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