For the initial eight years of my journey as a parent, I was a full-time stay-at-home mom. While I occasionally worked part-time as a breastfeeding advisor and lactation specialist, that was mostly on weekends. Although I cherished the work, it didn’t provide a true break from my children (hello, adorable yet screaming newborns and tender, weepy new moms!).
In recent years, I’ve transitioned to a work-from-home freelance writing career. With my youngest now in school, I find myself spending increasing amounts of time in my “office” (a.k.a my bedroom) typing away. However, this isn’t exactly a respite from parenting. To thrive as a writer, I must devote time to research, collaborate with editors, and produce quality content.
This work allows for about 20 hours a week during which I can retreat into a quiet space (I’m definitely not the type of writer who thrives amidst noise and distractions), away from my kids, focusing on my own endeavors — and let me tell you, it’s absolutely blissful.
You know that feeling when you only realize how challenging things were once they improve? Reflecting on those first eight years, I recognize how utterly drained I was. I had always envisioned being a stay-at-home mom, and I embraced that role wholeheartedly. Yet the intensity, the relentless demands, and the constant neediness from my children left me feeling overwhelmed.
While I wouldn’t change those early years of having a baby attached to me, I now see how I often battled anxiety and depression. Many days ended with me feeling chronically exhausted, as though my body was weighed down. By 5 p.m., I was completely wiped out, and it wasn’t solely due to sleepless nights or my kids’ endless needs. It stemmed from sensory overload, a sense that I had lost myself amidst drool, spit-up, breast milk, and tears.
A few years back, I discovered the work of Dr. Elaine Aron, a psychologist who introduced the concept of highly sensitive people (HSPs). Reading her explanations resonated deeply with me. It illuminated many struggles I had faced throughout my life and especially during my parenting years. Highly sensitive individuals are easily overwhelmed by sensory input (think bright lights, loud noises, and chaotic environments). They often feel the need to withdraw sooner than most, particularly in social situations, and they crave solitude.
Isn’t it ironic that the loud, chaotic life of parenthood could be overwhelming for an HSP? Early on, I realized I wouldn’t be the type of parent organizing countless playdates or social events. I prioritized nap time and bedtime as my quiet moments, deliberately avoiding chores during those hours. After the kids fell asleep, I rarely ventured out; all I wanted was to soak in the serene silence of my home.
In many ways, I carved out a path to successfully parent as a sensitive person, ensuring I took time for self-care. However, I’m now aware that those moments were insufficient. I need several hours of uninterrupted solitude daily to maintain my sanity. I require time to process, reflect, and decompress — far more than what’s typical for a mom on call 24/7.
Though I miss my full-time mom days (especially the tiny baby cuddles), I recognize that the balance I’ve achieved now is crucial for my mental and emotional well-being. Some mothers thrive in a nonstop environment, and I commend them. But I’ve come to accept that I’m not one of them, at least not for the long term.
Instead of dismissing my sensitivity as a flaw, I’ve begun to embrace and celebrate it. My ability to absorb my surroundings is a gift (and perhaps the reason I became a writer). This sensitivity allows me to be highly attuned to my children’s needs, whether I’m constantly present or not.
Even with the balance I’ve established, I still need to retreat from the chaos now and then. My kids understand; I simply tell them, “I need some silence,” as I head to my bedroom for a moment of meditation. They are learning that caring for oneself is not a sign of weakness but rather a strength.
Every mother faces her own limits and challenges. It can be tough to prioritize your needs, especially in the demanding early years of motherhood. However, feeling overwhelmed is unhealthy for both you and your children. The reality is that prioritizing your mental health is one of the most impactful things you can do as a mother. Recognizing what you need for balance and happiness is vital, and taking steps to fulfill those needs will ultimately benefit everyone in the long run.
For further insights on parenting and self-care, check out this blog post or learn more about home insemination from this authority on the topic. Additionally, the Mayo Clinic is an excellent resource for information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
As a highly sensitive person, I’ve learned the importance of carving out daily alone time to nurture my mental health while navigating motherhood. By embracing my sensitivity rather than shying away from it, I’ve found a healthier balance that benefits both myself and my children.
Keyphrase: Highly Sensitive Person Parenting
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