The evening after Thanksgiving, our family set out on an adventure to see Christmas lights. The destination was a solid 45 minutes away, but the promise of four million twinkling lights spread along a two-mile path through a park was enough to draw us in. What follows is the saga of our two-hour and 45-minute journey just to reach that path—a tale filled with trials, resilience, and the quest for holiday magic, narrated in my mind.
Wow, 45 minutes just to get here! But no worries, this will be worth it. Our first Christmas outing of the season! It’s going to be epic. I guess we’ll just sit here in this line for a bit. Time for some Christmas tunes. Yay!
We’ve been in this line forever. Seriously, not a single car is moving. It’s okay, I’ve got pretzels in my bag. I’ll whip them out if this goes on much longer.
To pass the time, we’re playing “Guess the Character.” My youngest just described Dumbo as “a boy with a really long front tail.” I almost burst out laughing. I kept my composure like a pro. (That’s what she said.)
Wait a second. I just realized there are porta-potties lining this road. They anticipated the wait. Oh dear. What have we gotten ourselves into?
Evie has cycled through crying, laughing, whining, and crying again—all within the span of a minute.
Looks like we’re residents of this line now. We might as well combine our Christmas cards with change of address notifications. That’s a cute idea, right?
The mood in the car is swinging from joyful to Hunger Games rapidly.
To stay productive, I’ve mentally crafted the ultimate household staff: Tony Macelli as our nurturing nanny, Sookie St. James for culinary delights, and Mr. Belvedere as our butler. Our driver? David Hasselhoff in the Knight Rider car, KITT.
Tensions are rising in the car. As the matriarch, I strive to stay positive amidst the chaos. I will not share the pretzels I’ve brought with me.
If I have to hear one more version of “Jingle Bell Rock,” I swear, I’ll launch this iPhone and its Christmas Pandora station right at that inflatable Snoopy.
Mary gave birth in a barn without any pain relief after a long journey on a donkey while in labor. I can handle this line, right? Ugh.
I’m beginning to resent Santa.
My husband just pointed to one illuminated house in an otherwise dark neighborhood and tried to convince the kids it was part of the light show. I swear I saw them considering his suggestion.
I’ve started choosing potential alliance partners in this line, just in case.
- The family in the cargo van is my top pick. They remind me of the Von Trapps. They could turn any mundane event into a fun song, whip up clothes from thin air, and escape danger with ease. Just imagine matching alliance bandanas from their car seat fabric!
- The group traveling in a Hummer limo is another favorite. I could use a place to rest while the others strategize. Plus, they likely have snacks. No alliance is complete without snacks.
- The bearded gentleman in the car with the dented side—now that’s the kind of grit we might need.
“Santa Baby” is playing again. We get it; you’re seductive.
At this point, anyone sitting in this line with a date is in a common law marriage.
Suddenly, I see police lights behind us! A rescue operation! It’s a Christmas miracle!
But wait—the police are here to create a second lane. Newcomers are allowed to merge in front of us, and it’s shattered my husband’s spirit. He can only whisper, “This doesn’t make any sense. None of it makes sense.”
Christmas music is getting to me. Everything feels overwhelming. I miss the simpler days.
Wait—our line is actually moving! Praise all that is holy! We’re finally progressing! I will never take for granted the joy of not being stuck in traffic again. I’m going to start living differently. We must cherish every moment because you never know when you’ll be stuck in a standstill again.
Wow, these lights are stunning. Just look at our kids’ happy faces. This night will be a cherished memory for our family as we bond over this experience. We did it! I love this family. Christmas truly is magical.
We are definitely doing this again next year.
And that, dear reader, sums up the holidays—a delightful mix of struggle and joy, sprinkled with enough forgetfulness to make us dive back into it year after year.
For more insights, check out this blog post for additional thoughts on family and bonding experiences.
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Summary:
A humorous and relatable recounting of a family’s expedition to view Christmas lights, highlighting the ups and downs of parenting and family bonding during the holiday season.
Keyphrase: Christmas lights family outing
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