College Isn’t the Only Route for Young Adults—It’s Time for Parents to Embrace This Reality

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Ten years back, a friend of mine, Mia, launched her own hair salon, employing a couple of stylists. She controls her schedule, typically working just three days a week, allowing her time for her kids’ school events and managing household chores. Weekends and holidays are hers, too. With nearly two decades of hairdressing experience, she earns a solid income without ever stepping foot into a college classroom; her expertise comes from cosmetology school and hands-on experience.

The belief that young people must pursue a college education to achieve success is not only misleading but also harmful. This narrative often stems from a place of privilege, as attending college—and graduating from a four-year program—requires considerable support and access to resources.

From early childhood, we frequently ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Their answers are often whimsical and imaginative—like aspiring to be professional nacho testers or video game champions. However, as they approach high school graduation, the pressure mounts to declare a lifelong path.

The conventional “success blueprint” suggests achieving excellent scores on standardized tests, applying to colleges, selecting one, and then dedicating four to eight years to earn a degree, followed by entering a fulfilling career. Unfortunately, this narrative doesn’t resonate with all students, and that’s perfectly acceptable. Yet, many parents struggle to accept alternative choices.

I completely understand why parents want their children to attend college. In my family, I was one of only two cousins out of ten to graduate from college, alongside my sister. It took immense dedication, hard work, and a fair bit of luck. I juggled three jobs to cover my tuition while commuting to classes every day.

However, my perspective shifted when I became a college instructor. Over my nine years of teaching, I observed many students grapple with coursework. During our first conferences, I would often hear their stories. It became evident that many didn’t even want to be in college; they were there because their parents insisted. Balancing part-time jobs and social lives while struggling to pass classes became a common refrain.

When I asked these students what they truly wanted, their responses were often enlightening—they aspired to attend cosmetology school, pursue trade certifications, or explore jobs like truck driving or fitness instructing. However, most felt trapped by their parents’ expectations, often stating, “My parents want me to go to college.”

This illustrates how financial control can shape decisions. One student shared that his father had simply told him, “You will go to college,” with no discussion of his own wishes. Even with scholarships and loans, parental pressure to complete college remains prevalent. Many believe a degree is a foolproof ticket to a good job and a bright future.

This rigid mindset can be detrimental. I often wondered how many of my students possessed talents suited for hands-on careers but were wasting their time and resources in traditional classrooms. Not every student thrives in that environment; some need practical experiences outside conventional settings.

I never learned what became of these students after they left my class. I would sometimes see them in the hallways, wondering if they found the courage to communicate their desires to their families. Would their families support their choices?

While parents genuinely want their children to secure stable, independent futures—ideally not living in their basements for decades—there isn’t a singular path to achieving that. I would much prefer my child to feel supported in pursuing their true passions rather than forcing them down a “successful” road dictated by societal norms.

I often wish I could share this insight with the parents of struggling students: Long-term education isn’t for everyone, and traditional classrooms can stifle a student’s creativity and potential. There are numerous pathways available, and I encourage parents to explore these options alongside their teenagers. Let’s consider trade schools, vocational programs, community colleges, and careers that offer lucrative salaries without requiring a four-year degree.

I’m not suggesting parents lower their expectations; instead, I urge them to reevaluate what success looks like and watch their young adults thrive.

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Summary

In conclusion, college is not the only path for young adults, and it’s imperative for parents to recognize that diverse opportunities exist. By embracing alternative routes, parents can better support their children in pursuing careers that align with their passions and skills.

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