My partner, Ryan, and I had enjoyed 13 years of marriage and 18 years together. We were blessed with two wonderful children, and I was a stay-at-home mom while Ryan thrived in his sales career. Our life seemed picture-perfect in a grand house surrounded by nature, complete with nice cars and all the luxuries we desired. Yet, I still decided to leave him. Why? Because I craved something deeper—something he couldn’t provide.
From a young age, we’re taught that “money doesn’t buy happiness.” As kids, we roll our eyes, thinking, “Oh, how wrong!” When you’re young and struggling, living paycheck to paycheck in a cramped space can feel suffocating. Wouldn’t life be easier with a bit of financial security? And it’s true; having money opens many doors—like driving a fancy car or hosting picture-perfect gatherings.
But what good is a lavish home if you’re sharing it with someone who doesn’t truly connect with you? Who are you drinking that expensive wine with? Are they your cheerleader or your critic? Do they understand your dreams, validate your feelings, and help you grow?
Would that gourmet dinner feel as good if your partner constantly belittled your contributions? Would that exotic vacation be enjoyable if they made you feel like a placeholder? Would you want to drive your luxury car, only to have an empty seat beside you because your partner prioritized everything else over family time?
I left Ryan because I felt like I was always chasing after him to be a true partner. I wanted a loving husband, not just someone to share expenses with. Despite the comforts of my life, I longed for emotional connection. I would have sacrificed all the material possessions for genuine love.
I craved a devoted life partner to share mundane moments and celebrate milestones with. Someone who would appreciate my passions—like baking and cooking—and join in on family activities, creating lasting memories together. I yearned for a partner who would want to share the joys of parenting, like picking strawberries or visiting the zoo. I wanted to feel supported at the end of the day, knowing we both contributed equally to our family life. I wanted someone who desired only me. I wanted to be enough.
When I reflect on my desires, they seem simple, yet they embody the essence of true love. Isn’t that the reason we marry—to find that special bond? However, true love can be elusive and complicated. My past experiences left me feeling disillusioned about what love should look like.
The moment my children were born eight years ago, I understood love in its purest form. Holding them for the first time filled my heart with an overwhelming sense of selflessness. I couldn’t grasp why Ryan seemed unaffected by these profound feelings. It felt as though our family had developed two separate worlds—one with me and the kids, and another with him. I felt invisible and like a burden, often worrying that my needs and contributions were overlooked.
During those early days, I wished for a partner who would prioritize family over work, someone who would be by my side in the hospital and share the joys and struggles of parenting. I needed a husband who would see my post-baby body as beautiful, who would want to create family traditions rather than escape to socialize with friends. I longed for acknowledgment of my hard work and sacrifices.
Eventually, I realized I could no longer wait for change. Despite having a comfortable life—complete with a beautiful home and vacations—I lacked the one thing I desired most: love. After pleading for emotional support without seeing any change, I made the bold choice to leave. I wanted to experience true love and ensure my children understood what it meant as well.
Even when life seems picture-perfect, some things are worth sacrificing everything for. For me, that was love.
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