When someone asks me how many children I have, I usually say two lively boys. In reality, I’m a mother to five – two here with me and three beautiful angels watching over us. Discussing pregnancy loss can feel uncomfortable, and I often find myself hesitating to share my truth. This silence stems from a societal stigma surrounding miscarriage, which leaves many women, myself included, feeling isolated in a sorrowful sisterhood we never wished to join.
My journey began in 2014 after my first miscarriage. Following the birth of my first son, I tried to bury that heartache deep. I managed to push through until I faced two more losses in 2017, which overwhelmed me. The emotional toll became unbearable, leading me to seek therapy for what felt like post-traumatic stress. Even after welcoming my second son through numerous fertility treatments, I was still haunted by grief and anxiety, worsened by postpartum hormones. I felt the need to keep my struggles hidden, believing that speaking about miscarriages was taboo.
It seems that medical professionals often overlook the profound impact of these losses, treating them as common occurrences that women should just move past. But the truth is that losing a pregnancy is a deep and painful loss, regardless of how far along one is. Traditional grief practices exist for those who lose loved ones, so why shouldn’t we honor our lost pregnancies in the same way?
This thought was posed by my therapist as we developed coping strategies to navigate my grief. Interestingly, many cultures offer rituals and memorials for pregnancy loss, helping families through their mourning. In the United States, however, such practices are not the norm, leaving many women, like myself, to create our own ways to find solace.
One of the rituals I cherish occurs during the holiday season. Each year, I hang three special ornaments on our Christmas tree, representing the children I lost. This act serves as a way to include them in our holiday celebrations, keeping their memories alive in our family’s heart. While it’s painful to hang those ornaments, it also brings a sense of peace, a reminder that they are part of our family, even if they are not physically with us. Additionally, we make charitable donations in honor of each baby, treating these gestures as gifts.
When my boys grow older, I will share the story behind the ornaments with them. For now, these symbols of love and loss will adorn our tree for many Christmases to come.
If you’re interested in more about the journey of pregnancy and parenthood, you can check out this insightful post on the Home Insemination Kit. For those considering their fertility options, Make a Mom offers valuable resources. For a deeper understanding of fertility treatments, WebMD provides an excellent overview.
In summary, celebrating the holidays with the memories of my lost babies is a deeply personal ritual that brings both pain and peace. It’s a way to honor their existence and include them in our family traditions, reminding us that love transcends even the deepest of losses.
Keyphrase: honoring pregnancy loss during the holidays
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