My Grumpy Holiday Wishlist — Because I Want Stuff

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Here’s my list, folks.

A bit too blunt? Maybe, but it’s definitely effective! This post, my Grumpy Holiday Wishlist, is about to get a little salty. Consider yourself warned: it’s going to be a bit feisty and may ruffle a few feathers. #sorrynotsorry

So, what do I want this year? Just five things—yes, only five! In a world overflowing with excess, I’m keeping it simple. And guess what? This time, it’s not even about material items!

  1. A Pristine Home
    This one made my list last year too, and it’s still holding strong. Honestly, all I want is a sparkling clean house without lifting a finger. I don’t care if it’s done by overzealous fairies or cranky elves. Just get it done! You hear me, family? Clean the damn house, and that’s your holiday shopping for me sorted. Plus, when you’re not the one responsible for keeping it tidy, it suddenly becomes a whole lot more important. Who would’ve thought?
  2. A Self-Emptying Trash Can
    No, this isn’t just about a clean home; this is a whole new level of magic! Usually, I’m the one doing all the “magic,” and frankly, I’m over it. I want someone else to handle the mundane chores. Dishes piling up, trash overflowing, dogs begging to go out, laundry that seems to multiply—these little tasks add up. Maybe if some of this “magic” could be spread around, I could regain some of my sanity. Just a thought!
  3. An End to the Gaslighting
    Take a breath; I’m not talking about my household dynamics. I’m referring to widespread societal gaslighting. Especially around the holidays! “It’s not about the gifts!” (But don’t forget to set your alarm for 4 a.m. to grab those post-Thanksgiving sales!) Seriously—what gives? The mixed messages we send are completely bonkers! Gaslighting is everywhere, yet we continue to ignore it. Yes, there’s always another side, but for crying out loud, can we just listen?

    This year, I hope people take a long, hard look at themselves and consider whether they contribute to the problem. I’ve been guilty of it too, and I’m actively working to change. That’s how we make progress—by choosing to do better.

  4. A Little Respect, Please!
    Now, hold on—this one extends beyond me. Acknowledging others’ feelings is crucial, right? Let’s embrace a little kindness and respect. When I come across something I find unpleasant, I simply look away. So why can’t others do the same? For those who can’t tolerate differences, maybe it’s time to zip it. If you leave us alone, we’ll do the same!

    For the rest of us, let’s engage in conversation and broaden our horizons. I’ve realized through my travels that there’s so much I don’t know about other cultures! The food, the traditions, the celebrations—we’re missing out. Showing respect not only benefits others but enriches our own lives too.

  5. A Genuine Thank You
    Now, back to me—sort of. I crave a heartfelt thank you. Not a card, not some generic message. I want my partner or kids or even a stranger to pause mid-task, look me in the eye, and sincerely say, “Thank you.” Real, human connection is so easily lost amidst the holiday chaos.

    Every year, we rush from one event to another, buying unnecessary gifts, stressing over decorations, and fretting about sending cards to people we barely know. So if you see me this season, just express your gratitude, and we can call it a day. Well, maybe add some wine to that.

So there you have it—my Grumpy Holiday Wishlist. You might love it or hate it, but this year, I’m choosing to focus on others. I’m done with the cycle of claiming it’s not about the gifts while drowning in materialism.

And yes, I still want someone to clean my house and a magical trash can. Is that really too much to ask?

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Summary

In this candid holiday wishlist, Morgan outlines five simple yet significant desires for the season: a clean home, a self-emptying trash can, an end to societal gaslighting, a bit of respect for others, and heartfelt gratitude. The focus shifts from materialism to genuine human connection, emphasizing the need for kindness and understanding during the holidays.

Keyphrase: Grumpy Holiday Wishlist
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]

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