By: Jenna Parker
Updated: Feb. 25, 2021
Originally Published: Nov. 27, 2019
On my 18th birthday, I made my first permanent decision: I got a tattoo. After swapping my driver’s permit for a state ID at the DMV, I found myself in a tattoo shop tucked between a Chinese takeout and a Dunkin’ Donuts.
I wish I had a grand story about the design or location of my new ink, but honestly, I just wanted a tattoo because my mom was against it. I perused the flash art for a few minutes—after all, that’s ample time for life-altering choices, right? A burly, bearded artist approached me, and I blurted out my choice: a black cross with a yellow rose coiled around it. He hesitated, pointing out that I wasn’t religious and asking why I wanted it on my lower back. You know that spot—just above the waistband of low-rise jeans, often exposed in less-than-modest situations. (Don’t judge too harshly; this was before the term “tramp stamp” entered the lexicon, so I’ll just say it’s a regrettable lower back tattoo.)
Since that day, my love for body modifications has blossomed—I now sport 14 piercings and countless tattoos that blend into one another. Yet, despite my personal choices, I’ve made a conscious decision not to pierce my daughter’s ears.
Surprised? You shouldn’t be. The mom with the half-shaved head and bold tattoos isn’t rushing to adorn her toddler’s ears with shiny baubles. Long before my daughter could even sit up, relatives bombarded me with questions about when I’d pierce her ears, expressing disbelief that I hadn’t done it yet. “But you have so many piercings and tattoos!” they exclaimed, puzzled by my stance.
When asked about my views on tattoos and hair color for my child, I could have snapped back with a snarky comment about their intrusive questions. Instead, I calmly explained that I have no intention of piercing my daughter’s ears anytime soon.
What many see as a no-brainer—the assumption that I would want to pierce her ears—serves as the exact reason I won’t. It’s her body, and she alone should have the autonomy to make that decision when she’s ready. Consent is crucial, and piercing her ears without her agreement could lead to issues of control and personal choice.
All my modifications were my decisions—some choices were regrettable, but they were mine. If my daughter expresses a desire for pierced ears at 6, 8, or even 10 years old, I’ll happily educate her on the process and accompany her to a reputable piercing establishment. However, I won’t impose this choice on her. Piercing her ears would only serve my vanity, and let’s face it, it isn’t culturally significant for us nor is it medically necessary. Plus, the discomfort she might experience would be no worse than a bee sting, and I won’t subject her to that pain just to adorn her with some cute studs.
While sparkly earrings may seem attractive, they won’t bring her joy—Cheerios, Mickey Mouse, and Elmo will do that much better.
For more on parenting philosophies and choices, check out our other blog post here. And for those interested in resources about pregnancy and home insemination, I recommend visiting Make A Mom, which is a great authority on the subject, as well as March of Dimes for excellent guidance on fertility treatments.
In summary, the philosophy of “My Body, My Choice” extends beyond tattoos and piercings; it encompasses respecting autonomy, especially for our children. Decisions about body modifications should be made by the individual, not by external influences.
Keyphrase: My Body, My Choice
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]