We often find ourselves certain about various aspects of life, feeling entirely confident in our beliefs and how we would react to certain situations. For me, abortion was one of those topics. I identified as firmly pro-choice but believed that, personally, I would never consider having an abortion. That was my truth.
During my sophomore year in college, I faced a traumatic experience when I was sexually assaulted. I vividly remember pondering the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy. The thought of seeing my assailant’s features in my child was unbearable, but I felt a sense of strength, convinced that I could navigate such a challenge. I believed I would celebrate my child’s existence, regardless of the circumstances. Fortunately, I never had to make that choice during that time.
As I transitioned into trying to conceive, I held onto the same conviction regarding abortion. In my first pregnancy, we opted out of many genetic tests, reasoning that even if we received concerning results, we wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy. I thought it was unnecessary to test when I was so sure of my path.
We did, however, participate in basic screenings like the nuchal translucency test and the anatomy scan, which all yielded positive outcomes. We were blessed with a healthy little boy.
Fast forward to my second pregnancy, where my beliefs about abortion faced a significant challenge. At 15 weeks, we underwent the first trimester screening, and while the ultrasounds appeared normal, the blood work raised concerns—a 1 in 77 chance of Down syndrome. We were advised to pursue further testing, so we opted for a cell-free DNA test, which revealed an even more devastating diagnosis: our daughter had trisomy 13, a fatal condition.
This diagnosis forced us to confront painful decisions about our pregnancy. We were presented with several options:
- Carry to term and fight for her life, enduring the realities of a severely compromised quality of life for our daughter and potential health risks for me.
- Carry to term with palliative care, understanding that this path could lead to significant emotional trauma for us and our family.
- Choose early induction, allowing us to hold her and donate her body to science without her suffering.
- Undergo a standard abortion procedure, which would mean we couldn’t hold her or donate her.
After extensive discussions and heart-wrenching contemplation, we decided to induce early at 19.5 weeks. I was required to take a pill that labeled our choice as an “abortion.” The term felt hollow and disheartening, as it belied the depth of love and desire we felt for our daughter. I had always associated abortion with women who were unprepared for motherhood, but my reality shattered that perception.
I realized then how ignorant I had been. I had failed to truly consider the complexities that lead women to make such decisions. I had never thought deeply about the woman who was assaulted, the woman whose birth control failed, or the woman facing a terminal diagnosis for her child.
There exists a silent community of women who have faced similar heartaches, struggling in isolation due to societal stigma. They often feel judged for their choices, even when those choices arise from love and necessity. Today, I choose to share my story proudly, standing for my daughter, Mia, and for all the women who feel alone.
I want them to know they are not isolated; countless others have walked this difficult path. My husband and I supported each other through this immeasurable pain, and we emerged stronger as a couple. I’m proud to honor Mia’s brief but meaningful life. We made the best decision we could for our family, and I will continue to be a voice for those who cannot speak out.
If you want to learn more about pregnancy and the difficult decisions that can come with it, I recommend checking out this excellent resource on pregnancy and also exploring Cryobaby’s home insemination kit for more insights into family planning. For additional perspectives on similar experiences, visit this blog.
Summary
This article reflects on the author Jenna’s personal journey regarding abortion, highlighting the complexities of facing a diagnosis of trisomy 13. It challenges preconceived notions about abortion, emphasizing the importance of understanding the emotional weight behind such decisions. Jenna encourages open dialogue for those experiencing similar challenges.
Keyphrase: abortion experience
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