This Is 35: A Reflection on the Chaos and Joy of Parenting

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Reaching 35 means you have a clearer sense of self, yet you still find yourself second-guessing every choice you make. It’s that tug-of-war between wanting to call it a night and the temptation to binge-watch something wonderfully trashy like Bachelor in Paradise. It’s the morning after a lively night out with friends, feeling the weight of your age as you nurse a hangover that reminds you that 21 is far behind.

At 35, you might be hitting the gym in the morning but then grumbling about your joints creaking as you ascend the stairs. You love every moment with your kids, but you also cherish those rare occasions when you can sneak off to the bathroom with a cup of coffee, hoping for a few peaceful moments away from their sticky fingers. You may find yourself on a romantic evening out with your partner, only to return home by 10 p.m., completely drained.

You know what you want from life, yet the clarity is never absolute. You might drive a nice car, but it’s often filled with crushed snacks and remnants of your children’s adventures. You’ve got a 401K and a Roth IRA, but let’s be real—you’re still a bit foggy on the details of how they work. Indulging in ice cream straight from the container on the couch feels like the ultimate adulting win. You’re raising your kids to be kind humans, yet you find yourself yelling when they engage in epic Nerf dart battles.

At 35, dry shampoo and coffee are your best friends, and you don’t care who judges you for it. You might send your child to a babysitter with a bucket on their head because, hey, it’s a hat to them, and who wants to deal with a meltdown? You still treasure your close friendships but wish you had more time to see them. Sticking to a budget is important, but sometimes that late-night FabFitFun subscription feels too tempting after a glass—or three—of wine.

You sometimes laugh at how you confuse 2001 with just a decade ago. You can’t help but compare every video game your kids play to the classic Oregon Trail. Dropping your kids off at grandma’s just to enjoy some music with explicit lyrics feels like a necessary escape. You might remember to apply sunscreen before heading outside but occasionally “forget” to do so because, let’s face it, you still think a tan looks better. You find yourself advising young women against getting belly button piercings, knowing that motherhood changes everything.

You might even find yourself in meetings with parents of high school friends, reminiscing about the days when you were caught sneaking drinks at their house two decades ago. You wonder how Carson Daly transitioned from TRL to the Today Show, and maybe you dream of seeing Britney Spears live—okay, maybe that one’s just me. You get giddy every time The Sandlot airs on TV.

Being 35 is a blend of feeling both old and young, a reminder that life is in the now. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, and it’s going to be another thrilling year ahead.

We are all unique women navigating the wild ride of motherhood. We are proud and often a little scary, but we’re also partners, daughters, sisters, and friends who need a space to connect beyond the kids. For more discussions, check out our Home Insemination Kit blog. And if your children are beyond diapers, explore our resources for managing the tween and teen years, which can be the most daunting phase of all.

This article was originally published on November 22, 2019

In summary, turning 35 is all about balancing the joys and challenges of parenting while navigating the complexities of adulthood. It’s a time of self-discovery, laughter, and the occasional chaos, reminding us that we are all in this together. For more insights on related topics, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.

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