As a middle-aged white mom who often discusses social justice online, I find myself navigating a complex landscape filled with conservative voices in my everyday life. My coworkers, extended family, and even friends often hold beliefs that starkly contrast with my own, which can make for some awkward interactions.
Take, for instance, a fellow parent at my son’s preschool. I genuinely enjoy her company; we could be great friends. However, one day, I wore a t-shirt that read “Coffee, Books, and Social Justice” (truly some of my favorite things), and she remarked, “I can tell we’d never agree on politics, but I’m open to hearing your side.” It struck me as amusing that a term meant to embody fairness and equality could be so loaded. Suddenly, my shirt marked me as an outsider in my own community.
When I share my writing on social media, I often receive private messages—mostly from white men—inviting me to chat over coffee about these topics. I’m more than willing to engage with differing viewpoints because I believe the divisions we face stem largely from a failure to listen and learn from one another. Too often, we communicate from behind our screens, crafting our next rebuttal instead of truly hearing each other out.
Yet, I find myself skeptical of the intentions behind these coffee invitations. If we can’t share a baseline understanding of what constitutes human dignity, discussing issues like systemic racism and white privilege becomes pointless. Many of these conversations feel geared toward dismantling my views rather than fostering genuine curiosity about my perspective. If we can’t start from a shared acknowledgment of these issues, any dialogue is likely to be unproductive.
Guidelines for Political Discussions
To save everyone some time, I’ve established a few guidelines for political discussions, particularly as we approach another election year (let’s hope for the best).
I’m open to meeting for coffee and engaging in meaningful conversation, but here’s the criteria:
- Immigration Reform: If you want to discuss immigration reform, I’m all ears. I think we can agree that our systems are in dire need of an overhaul. However, if your solution revolves around exclusion rather than welcoming those in need, then I don’t see any point in continuing the conversation. If you believe it’s acceptable to separate families or allow children to be adopted out when their parents are deported (let’s call it what it is: child trafficking), I won’t engage.
- Racial Tensions: If you want to address racial tensions, I’m willing to listen. But you must commit to doing the necessary work. This means listening to the experiences of people of color and acknowledging the troubling history of our nation, which has resulted in privileges for white Americans built on the suffering of black and brown individuals. There’s a wealth of resources available to assist in this learning process. And if you can celebrate a black man forgiving his brother’s white murderer yet fail to understand why black individuals might fear law enforcement, we won’t get far.
- Spiritual Beliefs: If you’re interested in discussing spiritual beliefs, I’ll listen. But if your theology alienates individuals based on their gender or sexual orientation, I won’t engage. If you believe that Donald Trump’s presidency is divinely sanctioned and reflects your Christian values, we have no common ground to build on.
- Pro-Life Discussions: If you want to chat about being pro-life, I’m here for it. I grapple with the abortion issue as well, and I’m open to exploring nuanced questions like when life truly begins. But if your stance lacks compassion for maternal health and disregards support for women who choose to parent, I’ll have to step away.
- Healthcare Reform: If healthcare reform is your topic, I’m willing to hear you out. I believe healthcare is a basic human right, and I’m open to various solutions for ensuring everyone receives necessary care. However, if you think it’s acceptable for access to medical services to hinge on one’s ability to pay exorbitant premiums, our conversation ends there.
- Cultural Norms and Language: If you’re confused about evolving cultural norms and language, I’m happy to listen. It can be challenging to grasp that gender exists on a spectrum rather than a binary. But if you refuse to acknowledge the humanity behind these discussions, we’re wasting our time.
- Gun Rights: If you want to defend your right to own firearms, I’ll engage. While I don’t believe the Second Amendment grants you the right to own any weapon you desire, I’m willing to hear your arguments. But our discussion will conclude if you can’t recognize that my right to ensure my children’s safety at school outweighs your right to own an AR-15. If your response to the epidemic of mass shootings is merely “thoughts and prayers,” then I can’t justify continuing our dialogue.
I anticipate that some will react defensively to my words, and that’s okay. Their reactions reveal more about them than about me. It’s essential to remain open to challenging conversations while also maintaining clear boundaries, especially when those discussions collide with my values of respecting every individual’s dignity and humanity. For more discussions on social issues, you can check out this link.
In summary, engaging in political conversations requires a willingness to acknowledge fundamental issues of human dignity and the realities that shape our society. If both parties can’t agree on these basic principles, meaningful dialogue is unlikely.
Keyphrase: social justice conversations
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