It’s interesting how some people dismiss friendships formed online as insignificant, insisting that true connections can only happen face-to-face. But the reality is, if someone is your friend, their physical location doesn’t matter. That’s why I find it frustrating when others say that internet friends aren’t “real” friends. Over the years, I’ve built many meaningful relationships through social media, and they are crucial to my life. I know I can count on them, no matter the distance.
I remember my first online friend vividly. Back in my tween and teen years, I spent countless hours in AOL chat rooms, where my obsession with boy bands brought me together with others like me. Fandom has always been a great way to connect online, and even today, it serves as a bridge to form friendships. One particular friendship has stood the test of time; we connected at 13, and here we are at 33, still going strong. In fact, we even met in person when we were in our late 20s, sharing experiences through high school, college, relationships, and parenthood.
Interestingly, my parents were wary of my online connections when I was younger. Fast forward to today, and I realize that a significant portion of my friendships now thrive on the internet. In adulthood, relationships often shift and change more dramatically. Local friends may fall off the radar, with the endless cycle of plans made but rarely executed. But with online friends, the portability of our connection creates a different dynamic. While those relationships still ebb and flow, geographical changes don’t create the same disconnection. Even if we aren’t always in touch, internet friends feel more reliable, since they’re just a tag away.
As a woman of color navigating predominantly white circles online, I often find myself leaning on my internet friends for support. Their understanding and willingness to step in when I face challenges from others is invaluable. There have been times when I’ve faced backlash for speaking my mind, and while I’m willing to engage in discussions, it’s a relief to know my friends have my back.
Recently, I found myself needing that support more than ever. I had unintentionally created tension with former friends from social media, and before I knew it, things escalated. Just when I was feeling overwhelmed, my online friends rallied to my side. The sheer volume of support was astonishing—these individuals, many of whom I’ve never met in real life, came through for me during a tough moment. Instead of becoming overwhelmed, I was able to step back while they engaged with those trying to stir up trouble.
What’s remarkable is that I didn’t even ask for their help; they just recognized my distress and offered their support. In that moment, I was reminded that even in a digital space, there are people who will not only stand beside you but will also advocate for you when necessary. My internet friends provide a sense of security I didn’t realize I craved.
Making friends online can feel risky. While you might think you know someone based on their social media posts, people can be unpredictable. However, many of my internet friends have proven to be genuine, showing kindness and generosity that strengthens our connections. In the past few years, I’ve found my community online—these are my people. We share similar interests, values, and backgrounds, which has deepened our friendships.
These are the friends who instinctively step up when I need them, often without me having to say a word. They somehow sense when I’m in need, and there they are, ready to lend support. Juggling the demands of parenting can be isolating, making it easy to lose touch with friends, but my online connections continually remind me why these relationships matter. Whether it’s sharing solidarity over parenting frustrations or helping me navigate conflict, my internet friends are always just a tag away.
In summary, the bonds formed online can be just as meaningful and supportive as those created in person. While the internet can be a mixed bag in terms of friendships, the connections I’ve built through social media have enriched my life tremendously.
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