Recently, I returned home from work to find my 13-year-old son, Jake, locked away in his room, tears streaming down his face. Sure, teenage angst is a common occurrence, but this was something deeper—heartbreak. My husband had prepared me for his emotional state, but nothing could truly equip me for witnessing my child’s sorrow.
What had devastated him? He hadn’t made the middle school basketball team. While some might dismiss this as insignificant, to Jake, it felt like the end of his world.
I wished I could change the situation, to ease his pain, or wave a magic wand to fix everything. But instead, we decided to celebrate. Yes, you read that right—celebrate.
“Hey, champ,” I said, pulling him into a hug. He didn’t respond. “I’m really proud of you,” I insisted.
“Why? I’m terrible,” he replied, sniffing.
“You’re not terrible, and I mean it. Let’s go out and celebrate,” I encouraged.
“There’s nothing to celebrate,” he said, clearly still upset. “I didn’t make the team. I must be awful.”
“There’s plenty to celebrate,” I reminded him. “You showed up and tried your best. It’s okay to feel sad about not making the team, but taking that leap is worth recognizing.”
He remained doubtful.
“Here’s the truth: life is full of disappointments. You won’t always make the cut, whether in sports, academics, or your future career. It’s tough, but it’s part of growing up. That’s why tonight, we celebrate your bravery in trying out. Congratulations!”
With a scoff, he walked away, but we still went out to our favorite Chinese restaurant. We indulged in heaps of food and let the kids enjoy sugary Ramune soda. My husband and I shared stories of our own failures—teams we didn’t make, colleges that turned us down, and jobs that slipped through our fingers. We celebrated Jake’s experience of not making the basketball team wholeheartedly.
Our family will continue to celebrate these moments. Next time, when Jake tries out for the travel baseball team and doesn’t make it, or when he applies for a job and doesn’t hear back, we’ll still recognize the effort he put in. It’s the attempt, not the outcome, that deserves applause.
Life is filled with setbacks, and it’s crucial for our children to learn how to navigate disappointment early on, especially when the stakes aren’t as high. I’ll encourage my kids to take risks, even if they might face failure.
That night, as Jake settled into bed, he was still nursing his wounds. I hugged him tight and reiterated how proud I was of him. “You know, everyone stumbles once in a while. What matters is how you rise back up.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, curiosity piqued.
“Well, you can choose to give up on basketball, or you can get back up, shake it off, focus on your strengths, and work on what needs improvement. It’s all about moving forward.”
“I get it,” he mumbled.
Two weeks later, Jake tried out for another team. No, he didn’t make that team either, but once again, we celebrated his courage to give it a shot.
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Summary
This article recounts a mother’s experience of supporting her son through the disappointment of not making the middle school basketball team. Instead of focusing on the loss, the family chose to celebrate the effort and bravery it took to try out. They emphasize the importance of learning to handle failures and disappointments early in life, encouraging the child to keep trying despite setbacks.
Keyphrase
Celebrating Efforts in Parenting
Tags
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