Trigger warning: mental illness, suicide
While scrolling through my college-aged child Alex’s phone—with their permission—I was taken aback by the content I found. Alex had been spending a significant amount of their hard-earned money on food and drinks for friends, and the photos showcased a lifestyle filled with partying at all hours, often during class times. I noticed a pattern of erratic texting late at night, sending confusing messages to multiple contacts. Specific apps hinted at risky sexual behaviors, and social media posts suggested conflicts that didn’t seem to exist, alongside alarming posts where Alex expressed suicidal thoughts.
At that moment, Alex was resting in a hospital bed, recovering from their first suicide attempt, which had been severe enough to require weeks of hospitalization. Ultimately, Alex would leave inpatient care with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, likely triggered by a combination of stress, inadequate sleep, and substance misuse. A return to school would be postponed for a considerable time.
While I don’t attribute their struggles to the friends encouraging Alex to buy dinners or skip classes, I do question why none of those so-called friends thought to nudge Alex toward seeking help or reaching out to a school professional or us. I wish to convey to them that what they perceived as typical college behavior were, in fact, indications of unhealthy dynamics, often exploiting Alex’s mental health issues.
The behaviors I encountered are not representative of a healthy college experience, regardless of how much we romanticize it. The signs of mental illness were glaring. When Alex first arrived at college, they were shy, diligent, and conscientious, never missing classes and stressing over deadlines. Their social media was filled with family moments and motivational quotes.
The behavioral shifts I witnessed were clear indicators of mental health struggles; either no one noticed, or they simply didn’t care to explore the reasons behind Alex’s unusual actions. Those new behaviors rendered my child the life of the party, the exciting newcomer who offered free meals and laughter. Why would anyone want to change that?
In our family interactions, we did recognize the changes. We suggested that Alex pursue mental health support and even considered bringing them home for inpatient care. However, when they relayed our concerns to their friends, the feedback ranged from “your parents are out of touch” to “we understand you better than they do.” It’s startling that people who had known Alex for just a few weeks felt they had a more profound insight into my child’s well-being than we did.
A mental health resource from College Stats indicates that a staggering 30% of college students feel their mental health challenges hinder their academic performance. Half of the students rate their mental health as poor, and only 40% who struggle with mental health issues seek help. Meanwhile, only 7% of parents believe their college student is grappling with mental illness, likely due to the distance and typical separation during this stage.
Parents, while preparing our teens for SATs and perfecting college essays, it’s crucial to foster open conversations about mental health. We must equip them to recognize the symptoms of mental illness in themselves and others.
Significant behavioral changes—such as extravagant spending, erratic texting and social media habits, shifts in social and sexual interactions, and frequent physical complaints—can signal various mental health issues. Our teens need to be aware of these signs.
According to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, excessive drinking is common during the first weeks of college but can point to underlying mental health concerns or addiction. Teens must be informed before they embark on their college journey.
Understanding that suicide is the third leading cause of death among individuals aged 14-24 is vital, with one in ten college-age individuals having contemplated suicide. When I asked one of Alex’s friends why they didn’t seek professional help after seeing those social media posts, they mentioned they thought Alex’s claims about family neglect were exaggerated and believed that friends could manage the situation. We need to teach our teens they are not equipped to handle threats of suicide; such situations require professional intervention.
While a new college friend who seems fun and carefree might appear exciting, they may, like Alex, be dealing with the onset of a mental illness. Our teens should be prepared to recognize when a friend needs professional, and often familial, support. They should be aware of how their school addresses mental health issues (most institutions have plans in place), and they should know the steps to take if a friend shows signs of suicidal ideation. This knowledge is essential before they head off to college.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the journey through mental health awareness begins at home. Equip your teens to navigate the complexities of college life while recognizing the signs of mental illness, both in themselves and in others.
For more on navigating these challenges, check out this insightful resource on mental health at Hopkins Medicine and learn more about self-awareness and support systems through our related article at Home Insemination Kit. Also, for those interested in fertility options, consider Make a Mom as a valuable resource.
Keyphrase: recognizing mental illness in teens
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