“Let’s talk about your weight,” the doctor says, while I sit on the examination table, feeling a familiar pang of dread. I wish we could skip this part. It’s uncomfortable, and honestly, it feels like a diversion from the real issue at hand. I’m here because my legs are causing me significant distress; one is swollen and painful, making everyday activities—like walking my dog or grocery shopping—an ordeal. I’m worried it might be a blood clot, especially after a recent flight and given my hormonal birth control. I expressed my concerns at the start of our appointment, but instead of addressing the pain that is clearly affecting my life, you steer the conversation toward my weight.
I need you to understand, doctor, that this isn’t about sensitivity. It’s about the reality that discussions like this often lead to subpar medical care. The last time we had this conversation, we spent most of the appointment going in circles while I left with no answers about the swelling in my leg. You examined my leg, confirmed I was retaining fluid, but didn’t offer any tests or treatment options—just more dialogue about my weight.
This conversation is not new to me. I have heard variations of it for years. If I had a dollar for every time a doctor brought up my weight, I could afford a lavish lifestyle. But here I am, once again, paying for a discussion that feels irrelevant to my actual medical issues.
I came prepared to this appointment, having researched possible diagnoses and treatment options. I wanted to discuss getting an ultrasound or perhaps a referral to a specialist. But instead, you suggested diuretics without understanding the underlying cause of the swelling. I firmly told you that I needed to know what kind of fluid I was dealing with before taking any medication, to which you nodded in agreement.
Let’s get one thing clear: I know I’m overweight. I’ve been aware of it for as long as I can remember, from childhood diet recommendations to experiences that highlighted my size in uncomfortable ways. I’ve been through countless diets, weight loss programs, and even prescriptions, all while my relationship with food has deteriorated. I’ve cried over my weight, spent money on solutions that never worked, and yet here I am, still needing medical care for legitimate health concerns.
It took courage to come to this appointment, knowing the likely outcome. I prepared my arguments about why weight loss surgery isn’t the answer for me. I even practiced how to redirect the conversation back to my legs. Yet, you still brought up weight loss, evoking a metaphor about cancer and surgery that left me speechless.
I am done with the shame that comes with these conversations. I’m tired of being labeled noncompliant simply because I refuse to undergo a procedure that I do not want. I deserve compassionate, evidence-based medical care, and the focus should be on the pain in my legs—not my weight.
What do you hope to achieve with this persistent dialogue? Do you think I’m unaware of my weight? My biggest fear is that something serious will go unnoticed due to your fixation on my size. I worry that one day, I will be dismissed again, and the consequence could be dire.
I ask you for evidence that my weight is the cause of my leg problems, and you admit it’s just a feeling. It’s infuriating. You even leaned in for a hug after dismissing my real concerns, which felt condescending and unhelpful.
I received your notes the next day: “Tried to discuss patient’s weight but she is sensitive about it and prefers not to discuss it.” That’s not an accurate reflection of my visit, and it’s both frustrating and disheartening.
The truth is, I simply want to be treated as a whole person, not defined by my weight. I want to address my health issues without being sidetracked by a conversation that feels irrelevant to my immediate medical needs.
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Summary
The author expresses frustration over medical practitioners who prioritize weight discussions over immediate health concerns. They recount various past experiences, highlighting the importance of receiving appropriate medical care without the stigma of weight bias. The narrative emphasizes the need for compassion and evidence-based approaches in healthcare.
Keyphrase: Medical care and weight bias
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