Horror Films Have Ruined My Life, Yet I Can’t Stop Watching Them

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I remember the day vividly, my small fingers poking through the frayed holes of my grandmother’s ancient quilt. Clutching the fabric like a lifeline, I squeezed my eyes shut, though the screen’s glow seeped through, illuminating the terror unfolding before me. It was futile; I couldn’t resist peeking. After all, a little girl just like me was reaching for a ghostly hand that had ominously emerged from her television. That was just too bizarre to ignore.

A wave of questions crashed over me. How do spirits interact with our screens? Is there a hidden ghost arm lurking in every TV? And why on earth did my parents think it was okay for me to watch this film? The moment that character, Carol Anne, was about to cross into that eerie portal, I felt the same thrill of impending doom. It was a rite of passage, I suppose, as a first grader glued to Poltergeist, a horror flick that left an indelible mark on my psyche.

Thanks a lot, Steven Spielberg.

You’d assume that such a harrowing experience would deter me from ever watching a horror film again. But surprisingly, it only ignited a passion within me for anything that goes bump in the night. It’s a paradox: horror movies have wreaked havoc on my life, yet I can’t tear myself away from them.

No matter how absurd the storyline or how much I have to suspend disbelief, each horror film lures me into its captivating abyss. It doesn’t stop there; I find myself linking the nightmarish events on screen to real life, and my subconscious convinces me that I’m the next target.

After watching Candyman, I spent countless hours taking bathroom breaks with my sister, terrified of being alone. Stephen King’s It turned my walks past storm drains into a minefield of anxiety. A Nightmare on Elm Street had me paralyzed with fear at bedtime, imagining Freddy Krueger looming above me. And let’s not even discuss the long period I avoided the woods after The Blair Witch Project.

With each film, I’d spend days—sometimes weeks—trying to convince myself that I wasn’t the protagonist in a real-life horror story. I’d make a solemn promise never to watch something frightening again. Yet somehow, a new trailer would drop, and I’d be lured back into that chilling embrace.

Here I am, a woman in my thirties, unable to sleep without checking every corner of the room for lurking ghosts or monsters. I sleep with lights on and keep my feet tucked safely under the covers. I refuse to let myself drift off with my back facing the edge of the bed, and whenever I move into a new place, I negotiate with any potential spirits that might be lurking.

It’s as if I’ve become a living, breathing sage stick.

Rationally, I know I should stop watching horror movies for good. But will I? Absolutely not. The thrill of fear is intoxicating, and I’m just a fool who believes I can conquer my addiction to shrieking and jumping at shadows.

Perhaps one day I won’t wake up in the middle of the night fearing the demon from The Conjuring is after me or scanning my room’s corners for Toni Collette’s character from Hereditary. But until then, I’ll keep my feet tucked under the covers and those twinkling Christmas lights on year-round.

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In summary, horror films have cast a long shadow over my life, leaving me in a perpetual state of paranoia, yet I remain hopelessly drawn to the genre. I’ve become a master of avoidance and fear tactics, navigating life while wrestling with my fascination for all things terrifying.

Keyphrase: Horror Movies Impact on Life
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