My Circle of Single Mom Friends Means Everything

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As a single mother, the most invaluable aspect of my life has undoubtedly been the community I’ve cultivated around myself and my child — our personal village. In the early days, I primarily surrounded myself with fellow stay-at-home moms that I met at playgroups and local parks. While they were lovely, I soon realized that our experiences were vastly different. They couldn’t grasp the challenges I faced managing everything solo, and over time, I felt a growing sense of resentment. They were happily married, while I was navigating the aftermath of a long-term relationship that had fallen apart. I recognized the need for friends who were single moms like me, who could understand my struggles in a way that my married friends simply couldn’t.

As my child grew, I found solace and comfort in reconnecting with long-time friends who had been with me through various life stages, both before and after motherhood. They understood my situation thoroughly and were always there to listen as I vented about the frustrating antics of my ex or expressed my exhaustion. They never judged when my child tagged along to dinners, as he wasn’t comfortable with me being away for more than a couple of hours. Having the flexibility to include him without feeling scrutinized was a lifesaver. Back then, it was essential for me to maintain some semblance of a social life outside the house.

One of my closest friends, Mia, has a child the same age as mine and lives just a few minutes away. She has always been my confidante — ready to listen to my rants, validate my feelings, and empathize with my challenges. Although she didn’t fully comprehend what it meant to be a single mother, I never felt the same disconnect with her as I did with some of my other mom friends.

Like me, Mia has been open about her personal struggles. So when she confided that she and her husband were contemplating a separation, my heart sank for her and her child. Yet, a small part of me felt a sense of relief. After all, who better to share the single-parent journey with than my best friend? I didn’t wish for her marriage to end, but if it was a done deal, we could support each other through the ups and downs of single parenting.

Now, our lives feel reminiscent of our younger days, except instead of watching wedding shows, we’re tuning into our kids’ favorite programs. Living close to each other allows us to escape the toddler chaos with a quick drink, which is essential for our sanity. Given how isolating solo parenting can be, having someone to connect with on a regular basis is a breath of fresh air.

Having known each other for years means we’re well-acquainted with each other’s exes. When they act foolishly, we become the petty police, and honestly, we revel in it. Sure, it may seem immature, but we don’t mind. Mia will leave snarky comments on my ex’s social media posts, while I throw shade about her ex when he’s around. We always have each other’s back, no questions asked.

Mia has been nudging me to dive back into the dating world, despite my reservations about being ready for it. Sharing a home with my parents and child complicates things further. Meanwhile, she has already dipped her toes back into dating — which is so typical of her. I find myself living vicariously through her escapades, especially since she still struggles with flirting and sexting. I’ve taken on the role of her Cyrano, and it’s been nice to fall back into those old dynamics from before motherhood.

But I’ve also been there for her during the serious moments. Divorce is tough, and sometimes she just needs a shoulder to lean on. I completely understand when she’s feeling burnt out and offer to entertain her kids while she takes a much-needed nap, cleans the house, or heads out for a job interview. She would do the same for me. Her support has always been invaluable, but now that we’re navigating single parenting together, I appreciate it even more.

I’m not trying to romanticize single parenthood — it’s incredibly challenging. More often than not, it feels isolating and lonely. Building a network of people who you trust and who truly understand your situation is crucial for mental well-being. I’ve been fortunate to find a few friends who get it — and me.

On social media, I’ve also discovered an incredible support group where I’ve forged meaningful connections. There’s a unique bond that forms when you’re surrounded by others who have faced similar challenges. Talking to someone who genuinely understands your struggles because they’ve walked that path is something you don’t realize you need until you have it. When you’re at your wit’s end and need a friend to remind you that you can make it through? That’s invaluable.

The members of my tribe show up for me, support me, and love me unconditionally. They are the family I’ve chosen for myself, and I’m immensely grateful for their presence in my life. As I often say, “We single moms must stick together.” And together, we are navigating this journey.

For more insights into parenting and support for single mothers, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at Healthline, and explore how to boost fertility with our post on fertility supplements.

Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of having a supportive community as a single mom. It reflects on the author’s personal journey of transitioning from a network of married friends to forming deeper connections with single moms who understand her struggles. The narrative highlights the value of friendship, shared experiences, and mutual support in overcoming the challenges of single parenting.