Before I became a parent, the phrase “my child struggles with transitions” meant little to me. I often thought, “Kids can be slow, but just guide them along or they’ll face the consequences.” Then, I had my own child who would go into a frenzy at the mere suggestion of moving from one activity to another. I wish I could confront my pre-parent self and explain that some kids react as if every change is a personal affront. My youngest, Lily, is one of those kids.
Lily has always had a tough time with change. As a baby, she would wail when I moved her from her crib to the car seat. As a toddler, she’d burst into tears at the sight of her other parent leaving for work, and getting her dressed has always been a battle. Even now, at six, she struggles with transitions—be it mealtime, school, or bedtime. When it’s time to switch gears, she becomes so engrossed in her current activity that it feels impossible to pull her away without a meltdown.
I understand that Lily’s difficulties stem from sensory sensitivities and anxiety. I hate seeing her overwhelmed by a world that feels too fast, loud, and chaotic. I’ve tried all sorts of suggestions from doctors and therapists—setting timers, creating visual cues, and clearly communicating what needs to happen. Sometimes these strategies work, but most of the time, my daughter is a whirlwind of emotions, and I find it hard to be the patient parent I aspire to be.
With two other kids to get ready, who also require guidance (though not as much), I often feel stretched thin. I have my own responsibilities and can’t always muster the energy for gentle transitions. The result? Yelling, frustration, and tears from both of us. I try to remind myself that I’m doing my best, but it often feels insufficient.
I’ve had to physically remove Lily from her current activity to get her out the door, and I wish I could be the calm presence she needs. I read about magical transition strategies that promise to prevent tantrums, but after countless attempts, I’m left feeling drained.
On tough days, I struggle with guilt for losing my patience. It’s hard not to compare her needs to those of her siblings, and I often feel like I’m failing all of them. However, I always circle back to Lily after a rough moment. She knows I love her, and I know she is trying. That’s what parenting is really about—navigating the challenges and striving to be our best selves, even when it feels like an uphill battle.
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Summary
Transitioning can be a significant challenge for some children, particularly those with sensory issues and anxiety. Parents often struggle with balancing their own needs while supporting their children through these difficult moments. It’s essential to remember that patience and understanding are key, even when the process feels frustrating.
Keyphrase: Transitioning and change for children
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