Just over fourteen years ago, a few days before my husband and I marked our first wedding anniversary, we decided that the ultimate gift to ourselves would be puppies. Not just one, but two! After all, what better way to celebrate young love than by taking on the responsibility of two energetic pups?
We were completely inexperienced. Infatuated, yes, but utterly naive.
We embarked on a five-hour journey to bring home our new furry companions—our first “children,” Max and Zoey (if you’re a fan of “Friends,” you might get the reference). It took us all of twelve hours to realize how misguided our decision was. Two puppies? In a third-floor apartment in a bustling city? We were not only naive; we were out of our minds.
They wreaked havoc in our home, leaving messes everywhere, barking at the crack of dawn, and even gnawing on our furniture.
But eventually, the chaos transformed into cherished moments filled with long walks, cozy cuddles, and joyful games of fetch. Over the years, they witnessed every significant (and trivial) milestone in our lives. Max and Zoey weren’t just pets; they were part of our family—an unbreakable duo.
The imprint they left on our lives—and our finances—is immeasurable. The stories we have are unique to us, but trust me, anyone who’s had a dog will understand the depth of connection.
In March, we said goodbye to Max. He had been unwell for a while, and although he was always a bit high maintenance, his age brought new challenges. He required daily insulin shots, a special diet, and numerous medications. He suffered from a liver issue, hormonal imbalances, dementia, and had started to lose his vision and hearing. We even resorted to diapers for a time, until we realized cleaning them was more trouble than it was worth. While his passing was expected, it hit us hard. Even after his death, we still referred to them as “the dogs,” even though it was now just one.
A couple of months later, Zoey—our “miracle dog,” who had bravely fought cancer years prior—developed heart failure. She fought valiantly for several months, but nearly six months after Max’s death, her heart gave out.
I firmly believe she succumbed to a broken heart.
Now, we find ourselves without dogs, grappling with our sorrow. I cherish the time we spent together, but sadness looms larger at the moment. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that they passed; they were both 14 years old, and Zoey had heart issues. Yet, some days, I can scarcely accept their absence. I wonder when my mornings will no longer begin with the thought of letting the dogs outside. I ponder when I’ll stop coming home and instinctively searching for them. Will I ever adjust to picking up crumbs without anticipating their eager presence?
The depth of my grief surprises me, even weeks later. While it feels somewhat indulgent to mourn “just dogs,” there’s a proud acknowledgment in my sorrow. It is a privilege to love something so deeply and unconditionally.
People often ask how my children are coping, and each of them is processing their emotions differently. One child cried for hours after Max’s passing, holding him close as he slipped away. He wept once more when Zoey followed. My other child’s grief emerged gradually, with tears spilling out on random nights as he missed them. He expresses his feelings through drawings and questions as he navigates this confusing journey.
Not a week goes by without him mentioning them. “I miss Max and Zoey,” he says suddenly.
“Me too, buddy. Me too.”
And I do. Every single day.
There’s a saying that dogs are better humans than we are, but really, they are simply better beings. They love with abandon, hold no grudges, and find joy in the simplest of things—a long walk, a favorite toy, or a cozy nap. They forgive endlessly and love without conditions.
While there may be scientific explanations for their remarkable traits, I prefer to believe they have mastered the art of living well and are teaching us how to do the same. For further insights on navigating loss, you might find it beneficial to explore resources on infertility.
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Summary:
Losing a beloved dog can leave a significant emotional void in our lives. This heartfelt reflection captures the bond formed over the years with two dogs, Max and Zoey, and the profound grief felt after their passing. It highlights the unique ways family members cope with loss and the enduring love that pets give us, reminding us of their remarkable ability to teach us about unconditional love and joy.
Keyphrase: Losing a dog
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