I spend my days sharing personal stories online, aiming to connect with others and foster a sense of community. Crafting these essays is my passion, but I also brace myself for the inevitable backlash that comes with putting my truth out there. As someone who openly discusses life in a larger body, I’m no stranger to harsh judgments and the pervasive issue of fatphobia. I could easily stockpile MLM weight-loss products from the countless offers I receive. Sure, it’s rude, but I can handle that.
What I can’t ignore is the barrage of unwanted sexual messages from men.
Let me clarify: many of these messages are not complimentary. As a larger woman, I receive my fair share of body-shaming comments. One man claimed he would rather mutilate himself than be with me, while another insisted that my body was a “waste of a pretty face.” Yet another told me to “lose weight or die in a fire.” It’s baffling why these individuals think I would care. I’m happily married to a wonderful man who appreciates me for who I am. But that doesn’t mean I should only be respected because I’m “taken.” My humanity should be enough.
Even if I were single, no man capable of such cruelty would ever be welcome in my space. I’d rather enjoy my own company than share it with someone who belittles women for entertainment.
Strangers have no right to assess my desirability or share their sexual desires with me. Unwelcomed comments about my body, even if negative, are still a form of sexual communication. They’re unacceptable, and they need to stop.
What truly unsettles me, however, are the unsolicited explicit messages and images. Men who lead with a naked picture or graphic descriptions of their intentions make me feel profoundly unsafe and uncomfortable—far more than any insult.
A Call to Action for Men
So, if you’re reading this, men, I urge you to truly listen. We’re not diving into the “not all men” argument here. If you’re one of the decent guys who respects boundaries and waits for enthusiastic consent, great! But for the rest, I need you to understand that sending sexual messages to women who haven’t consented is never an acceptable use of your time.
In a poll of several hundred women, more than half found unsolicited sexual messages annoying at best, while others reported feeling distressed by them. Some survivors of sexual assault noted that unexpected sexual communication can trigger past traumas. Not a single woman in this poll expressed enjoyment over receiving such messages without warning.
When you send an unsolicited image or explicit message, there’s a fifty percent chance it will end up as a topic of ridicule among friends. Do you want to be known as “the guy with the weird penis”?
The reality is that your unsolicited sexual advances could be taken very differently based on a woman’s emotional state that day. What might be an annoyance for one could be a triggering experience for another.
Uninvited sexual communication is an irritation at best; it is not a compliment. You may not realize that for many women, your unsolicited messages come off as aggressive and threatening, rather than amusing or flattering. Now you know.
We shouldn’t have to educate you on this—it’s not our responsibility to teach men how to behave decently. Yet, here we are. If you’re engaging in this behavior, you are being inconsiderate. If I didn’t invite you into a sexual conversation, then you have no right to initiate one.
That said, I’m not suggesting you should never engage in sexting again—consensual exchanges can be enjoyable. However, it’s crucial to ensure the other person is on board before diving in. Who do you think you are?
I deserve to live my life without receiving inappropriate messages simply because I’m a woman. I have crafted a fulfilling existence, and your unsolicited sexual images have no place in it.
Whether your communication is positive or negative, explicit or vague, the message remains the same: it’s wrong to force someone into a sexual dialogue without their consent. Before sending another unsolicited sexual message, consider how it might affect the recipient’s well-being. It’s a hassle to deal with your nonsense.
We have the right to feel safe, and you owe it to us—and to yourself—to be better.
Resources for Further Exploration
For those interested in exploring pregnancy options, check out our other post on at-home insemination kits. If you’re looking for more authoritative resources, NHS provides excellent information on insemination methods. Additionally, the impregnator kit is a reliable source for those considering self-insemination.
In summary, unsolicited sexual messages are unacceptable, and men need to understand their impact. Respecting boundaries is essential for fostering safe and healthy interactions.
Keyphrase: unsolicited sexual messages
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