By Jamie Clarke
My husband, Alex, is perched on the edge of our couch, nursing a beer with a look of bewilderment on his face. His fingers are gripping the bottle tightly, and I’m pacing in front of him, my arms flailing and tears streaming down my cheeks. To be honest, I have no clue what I’m ranting about, as this one-sided conversation kicked off about an hour ago.
But shhh, don’t let Alex know that.
Most of our conflicts during this time of the month revolve around his perceived lack of romantic gestures, our infrequent intimacy, or him forgetting something significant. Ironically, while I’m unleashing my emotional monologue, I’m neglecting an important detail too.
I wrap up my impassioned speech with three dramatic statements that simultaneously infuriate my husband and provide him with some relief. These are the words I inevitably blurt out, only to regret them instantly. And every month, without fail, I find myself saying them again, against my better judgment: “I can’t stay married like this anymore! I’m done! I want a DIVORCE!”
This is typically when Alex gives me “the look.” It’s his silent way of conveying thoughts he knows are dangerous to express at that moment.
Being a smart guy, Alex knows just what to do next. He apologizes profusely for whatever has me upset, reassures me of his love, and then goes quiet. In response, I spiral into a full-blown emotional meltdown, retreat to our bed alone, and sob until I drift off to sleep.
The next day, Alex delicately broaches the subject that’s been on his mind since my outburst. He knows to approach it gently to avoid triggering more tears.
“Honey…”
“What?”
“Well, I think you might be…”
“WHAT?”
“I think… you might be getting your period.”
I smile sweetly and swiftly redirect the conversation. Yet deep down, I’m grappling with the fact that I’m uncomfortable with him acting like a weather forecaster predicting a storm. How can he, a man with no experience of menstruation, so accurately pinpoint my cycle? Am I wearing a shirt that screams “PMS Alert”?
The most infuriating part? Alex is always, without fail, 100% correct. I detest how right he is. He can sense I’m about to start my period before I even have a clue, which is incredibly annoying.
It seems I’m predictably prone to threatening divorce a few days prior to my cycle each month. Alex has become quite adept at discerning when my emotional storm is brewing—a time when my catastrophic thinking can get alarmingly close to an actual crisis.
Being diagnosed with complex PTSD last year has only exacerbated the situation, making me feel like a bundle of PMS-driven anxiety. Since I struggle to keep track of my cycle, these emotional episodes often feel like they come out of nowhere, much to Alex’s dismay.
However, there’s a silver lining. Alex has become so skilled at anticipating these monthly meltdowns that he actively steps in to prevent the dreaded “divorce” from slipping out of my mouth. He checks in frequently, showers me with comforting hugs, and always brings my favorite snacks and that sparkling water I adore. It’s reminiscent of how he treated me during my pregnancies.
Honestly, Alex deserves a medal for his incredible patience and empathy during these challenging moments. His proactive approach helps me feel a little calmer when I’m on the verge of losing it.
I’m seriously contemplating getting him a special cape—perhaps blue. Or maybe I’ll make it red, since I can’t think of a single husband who wouldn’t want a constant reminder that he’s the oracle of menstruation.
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In summary, navigating the emotional ups and downs of PMS can be a rollercoaster, especially when it leads to impulsive declarations of divorce. With a supportive partner who understands the signs, like Alex, the journey becomes a little more manageable, despite the chaos.
Keyphrase: PMS and marriage struggles
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