Updated: March 30, 2021
Originally Published: Oct. 17, 2019
Before I became a parent, I never understood what it truly meant when someone mentioned their child struggled with transitions. I had my own assumptions, thinking, “Kids just need direction; if you guide them, they’ll adapt.” That was until I had my own child who finds changes particularly challenging. If I could talk to my pre-parent self, I would explain that a child who resists transitioning can react with intense emotions when asked to switch from one activity to another, especially when the timing doesn’t align with their needs. Unfortunately, their timing rarely matches yours.
My youngest daughter exemplifies this struggle. As a baby, she would scream during car seat transfers. As a toddler, she showed clear anxiety when her other parent prepared to leave for work. Even now, at six years old, she finds transitions tough, despite being more independent. Whether it’s mealtime, school, or bedtime, she struggles to focus on what’s next or becomes hyper-fixated on an activity, making it nearly impossible to shift her attention without a major upheaval. She often expresses frustration, insisting she needs more time, even when I’ve already given her ample notice.
It’s important to clarify that I’m sensitive to her sensory issues and anxiety. I wish I could shield her from feeling overwhelmed by the complexities of the world around her—too loud, too fast, too much. I’ve tried various techniques from professionals, including setting timers, creating visual cues, and verbal reminders. Sometimes these strategies yield positive results, but more often than not, they lead to chaos. I also have two other children to consider, who, while not as demanding, still require guidance during transitions. Juggling their needs, my schedule, and my own mental health can be a recipe for frustration.
When I don’t have the patience or energy to engage in creative distractions, I find myself becoming reactive. Yelling ensues, from both sides, accompanied by tears and feelings of helplessness. I recognize that my daughter feels rushed, while I’m equally frustrated, knowing I’ve already provided her with the necessary time and reminders.
I often question if I’m doing something wrong or if there’s an aspect of her needs that I’m missing. Perhaps this is simply her personality, and she will learn to manage transitions as she grows older, facing the natural consequences of being late to school or activities. I can’t dedicate 15-20 minutes to navigate every defiant transition, especially on days when I’m mentally drained. Guilt follows when I lose my cool, and I frequently find myself comparing her to her siblings, which intensifies my feelings of inadequacy as a parent.
After a tough moment, I always make sure to reconnect with my daughter. She knows I love her, and I understand she is trying her best. It’s essential to recognize that parenting is an ongoing journey of effort and adaptation—even if that looks different for each transition. For more insights into family dynamics and home insemination options, visit Make a Mom. They also offer valuable guidance for couples navigating their fertility journey at Couples Fertility Journey. Additionally, for further support on planning a pregnancy and understanding fertility treatments, check out March of Dimes.
In summary, parenting is a complex and often challenging experience, especially when it comes to guiding children through transitions. Each child is unique, and understanding their needs while balancing your own can feel daunting. Remember, you are not alone in this journey.
Keyphrase: managing child transitions
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