As a teenager, I had a deeply unsettling experience with cannabis that left me feeling apprehensive about it to this day.
During my high school years, I embraced the stoner lifestyle, indulging in marijuana almost every weekend with friends and my boyfriend. While I wasn’t under the influence constantly, I found myself occasionally attending school still feeling the effects. Reflecting on those times, I recognize they weren’t my proudest moments, but I believed I was relatively responsible. Like many young people experimenting with substances, I had moments of clarity and insight about life, albeit through a haze.
A Life-Changing Decision
However, everything changed in my senior year when I made a decision that would haunt me. After recovering from bronchitis, I was still on antibiotics and coughing quite a bit. When a close friend visited, we opted to ingest some of the cannabis she brought instead of smoking it, thinking it would be the safer choice. This turned out to be a colossal mistake.
Most people understand that consuming cannabis can lead to significantly stronger effects than smoking it, but I was unprepared for the intensity of my experience. I didn’t accurately gauge how much I was eating, nor did I consider how it might interact with the medication I was taking.
The Panic Set In
Within an hour, I was engulfed in panic. It felt as if I had stepped outside of reality, observing my life from a distance. I was disassociating, losing my grip on my identity, and the overwhelming fear that I was “losing my mind” set in. Accompanying this was a full-blown anxiety attack; my heart raced, tears flowed, and I was shaking uncontrollably.
In a state of desperation, I called my boyfriend, who was in college at the time. “I ate pot,” I confessed, “and something feels terribly wrong.” His initial laughter only intensified my anxiety, despite his attempts to comfort me. I was convinced that I needed hospitalization and would never return to normalcy.
Returning to Reality
Thankfully, as the effects of the cannabis wore off a few hours later, I returned to reality. I vowed never to eat cannabis again, a decision I felt was wise at the time. I attempted smoking it a few times afterward, but the experience was never the same. Feelings of paranoia and disassociation haunted me, making it impossible to enjoy the high. It was as if my body had flipped a switch, and instead of feeling relaxed and euphoric, I was reminded of that terrifying episode.
The last time I smoked cannabis was during my early college years. Despite peer pressure, I recognized it wasn’t worth the risk of triggering those distressing feelings again. This realization was empowering for me.
Open Conversations About Cannabis
I want to clarify that I have no issue with cannabis itself and recognize its benefits for many, especially those using it for health or mental wellness. With the vast array of marijuana strains available today, perhaps I could find one that suits me. But I have no desire to explore that option.
As a mother of two boys who will likely experiment with substances in the future, I believe it’s crucial to discuss the potential negative effects along with the positives. While I don’t consider cannabis to be on par with more dangerous drugs, I think it’s important to have open conversations about it. Many people experience adverse reactions, and it’s essential to acknowledge that.
When the time comes, I will share my experiences—both good and bad—with my children. Pot affects everyone differently, and it’s perfectly fine to be someone who simply can’t handle it. I think we need to discuss the less favorable aspects of cannabis more openly.
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Conclusion
In summary, my teenage encounter with cannabis was traumatic and shaped my perspective on its use. As a parent, I aim to have honest discussions about substances with my children, emphasizing that experiences can greatly vary from person to person.
Keyphrase: Traumatic experience with cannabis
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