The experience of parenting can be as diverse as the children we raise. While my first child was the epitome of decorum—polite, calm, and content to play quietly—my second child, Max, seems to have emerged from a different realm entirely. Instead of refined tea parties and peaceful coloring sessions, I find myself navigating the wild, untamed nature of a feral child. If you suspect you might have one of your own, here are ten signs to look out for:
1. Movement Preferences Lean Toward the Wild
Max prefers not to walk on two feet. He’s spent more time galloping on all fours than any human should. Whether he’s bounding like a deer or sprinting like a cheetah, he seems to favor crawling or climbing over walking.
2. Utensils? No Thanks
When it comes to meals, forks and spoons are treated as optional accessories. Max would happily consume every meal with his hands or, if given the chance, directly with his mouth like a bird of prey. It’s reminiscent of that iconic scene where children are encouraged to eat like little piggies—yep, that’s my son.
3. Dirt is Delightful
You should see the joy on Max’s face when he comes inside covered in dirt. He adores playing outside barefoot, and the messier he gets, the more delighted he is.
4. The Five-Second Rule? What’s That?
Forget about the five-second rule; if Max drops food, he has no qualms about picking it up and eating it without a second thought. While my eldest is a germaphobe, Max treats the ground like a buffet.
5. Hair Maintenance is Nonexistent
Getting Max to brush his hair is a battle I’ve fought for years. If left to his own devices, he would let his hair grow wild and tangled, resembling someone who has just emerged from the wilderness.
6. Clothes are Often Torn or Stained
The all-fours lifestyle takes a toll on clothing. Max loves wearing stretchy pants for freedom of movement, but they seem to endure more wear and tear than other garments. Napkins? They might as well be nonexistent in his world.
7. Bedding Resembles a Nest
Max’s bed is more of a nest than a traditional sleeping space. He pushes all his blankets and pillows into a makeshift den. It’s amusing that he even saved up to buy a large dog bed, despite us never having a dog.
8. Tree Climbing is a Common Activity
When I call out for Max and he doesn’t respond, my first instinct is to check the trees. More often than not, he can be found perched high, engrossed in a book or an imaginary adventure.
9. Animal Characteristics Shine Through
From a young age, Max has had a fascination with animals. He once received a baby doll and named it “Wolf.” His love for wildlife has only deepened, leading him to advocate for environmental causes, though he still retains some quirky animal-like behaviors.
10. True Free Spirit
Max embodies the essence of a free spirit, unshackled by societal norms. While we strive to guide him toward more acceptable behavior, we also appreciate the beauty in his wild nature. He possesses a connection to the earth that many of us can only admire.
In conclusion, raising a feral child may not align with my personal preferences, but I can appreciate the unique vitality they bring to life. If you’re navigating a similar journey, know that your experiences are valid and shared by many.
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