It was well past Norah’s bedtime, and the clock read 8:30 p.m. She was in the family office, grappling with an anxiety attack. At just nine years old, this was the fourth consecutive night she had struggled to sleep, her mind racing as she tried to keep pace with her 5th-grade class.
When my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD nearly a year ago, I anticipated challenges. My partner and I knew we needed to form a support system for her. Implementing a 504 plan felt like a breakthrough; Norah could finally thrive academically. However, this school year has brought a new wave of stress, transforming her into a bundle of anxiety.
Despite being granted extra time on assignments, the social stigma of submitting work later than her peers leaves her feeling ashamed and frustrated. These emotions often culminate in breakdowns late at night, forcing my partner and me to stay up late to help her decompress.
I never expected this scenario. As a father for 12 years now, navigating my daughter’s anxiety linked to her ADHD has become one of my greatest hurdles. I didn’t receive my ADHD diagnosis until my late 20s. Growing up, I was often deemed “not smart,” leading to placements in remedial classes and a pervasive belief that I was inadequate. I resigned myself to failure, accepting poor grades as my destiny without feeling anxious about it.
In contrast, Norah is exceptionally bright. I see her curiosity, creativity, and potential. Unlike my own childhood experience, we have found strategies that support her educational journey. Yet, she struggles to complete tasks at the same speed as her classmates. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking her time to finish strong, but Norah hasn’t fully embraced this concept, which is causing her distress.
I have repeated this to her countless times, but she can’t help but notice her classmates finishing assignments while she works methodically through hers. In 4th grade, these differences didn’t seem to faze her, but now in 5th grade, she is acutely aware of the pressure to conform, amplifying her anxiety.
Every night, my partner and I try to assist her by setting timers, allowing breaks, and providing rewards. Yet, even with two supportive parents who work in education, she remains overwhelmed and frequently breaks down, feeling inadequate compared to her peers.
Our evenings have become a cycle of damage control, as we help her complete unfinished assignments from school. She often stays up late, determined to finish, which leaves her fatigued and further hampers her ability to focus during class. This pattern spills over into the weekends, creating a never-ending loop.
Parenting can be incredibly frustrating. Each of our three children has unique needs, yet supporting my daughter through her ADHD-related anxiety has proven to be a significant challenge. While few discuss this issue openly, I am certain I am not the only one experiencing these struggles.
Despite the difficulties, I am immensely proud of Norah. At her age, I lacked her drive. She is determined to excel academically, and all we can do is nurture her efforts. I fear she might give up, as I once did.
We’ve proactively communicated with her school and are scheduled to meet with the principal and her teacher to reassess her 504 plan. I remain hopeful that we can strike a balance that alleviates her anxiety and workload. Until then, we are fully committed to supporting her through 5th grade and beyond.
As we navigate these challenges, I ponder what lies ahead for our daughter with ADHD. Regardless of the hurdles, we will never abandon her, and we will encourage her to believe in herself. This mindset will be crucial to her success.
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Summary
Navigating the challenges of ADHD and anxiety in children can be overwhelming for parents. As Jamie Thompson shares his experience with his daughter Norah, who struggles with these issues, he offers insights into the emotional toll and the importance of support systems. By fostering a nurturing environment and seeking educational accommodations, families can help children like Norah thrive, despite the hurdles they face.
Keyphrase: ADHD and anxiety in children
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