Like many parents, I often see potential mishaps unfolding long before they actually occur. My son, Jake, is riding his bike on the sidewalk, gazing up at the clouds instead of focusing on the ground ahead. My daughter, Mia, is precariously balancing on a chair to reach a high cabinet, and I can already see that one of the chair legs is teetering dangerously in a tile crack. My other son, Ben, is animatedly waving his hands during dinner, his cup of juice perilously close to the edge of the table.
In moments like these, it’s easy to predict the outcomes. So much so that it has become a family joke that I’ll say, “Careful, you’re about to…” and sure enough, it happens before I can finish my sentence. My kids half-joke about my seemingly prophetic abilities, often pausing their actions when I voice a concern.
Yet, I sometimes question if I’m being overly cautious. While I try to maintain a safe distance when they’re trying something new, it’s tough to stay silent when I foresee a mess or injury. I worry that my constant interference might foster dependency on my predictions rather than encouraging them to develop their own judgment.
Recently, I stumbled upon an intriguing approach on social media that resonated with me—rather than merely pointing out impending disasters or remaining silent, asking, “What’s your plan?” could be a more effective strategy.
This method not only draws attention to potentially problematic situations but also empowers children to assess their circumstances. It invites them to consider their own safety and decision-making skills. For example, instead of immediately stopping Mia from climbing, I could ask her what her plan is. This would prompt her to evaluate the stability of the chair before proceeding.
Similarly, if Jake procrastinates on his homework, I don’t need to lecture him about the consequences of his inaction. Instead, I can simply ask, “What’s your plan for your homework?” This encourages him to reflect on whether he’s willing to risk a late submission and puts him in control of his choices.
In an era of helicopter parenting—and even more invasive lawnmower parenting—this question serves as a remedy for overprotective tendencies. I must admit, however, that I might never fully resist the urge to shout at Jake to stay away from my cup of coffee; I’ve learned the hard way that any exuberant movement near it will inevitably lead to a spill. That’s my plan for maintaining my sanity in the chaos of parenting.
I can apply the “What’s your plan?” approach to various situations where I sense my kids are heading toward trouble. This allows them to explore their thought processes. Whether they’ve considered the potential outcomes or not, this question nudges them to reflect. Often, they might surprise us with their thoughtfulness. Just because they appear to be making a reckless choice doesn’t mean they haven’t calculated the risks. Sometimes, they may understand the consequences and decide the potential failure is worth the experience.
In these moments, perhaps our role as parents is to let them learn in their own way, even when we think we know how things will turn out.
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In summary, adopting the “What’s your plan?” approach can empower children to be more self-sufficient and thoughtful in their actions while allowing parents to step back from micromanaging every situation.
Keyphrase: What’s your plan parenting approach
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