Back when I was an ideal parent—before I had children—I thought that achieving straight A’s was a straightforward task. I genuinely believed that success was simply about completing assignments and submitting them on time. Parenthood, however, has a way of humbling even the most confident people.
My son, Ethan, has always been a bit of a whirlwind. From a young age, he stood out with his boundless energy, often bouncing from one activity to another. His preschool teachers frequently sent home notes about his difficulty settling down for naptime or paying attention during storytime. By the second day of kindergarten, he received his first disciplinary note.
Ethan’s grades were a constant struggle. He absorbed information easily; retention wasn’t the problem. He could ace tests with some guidance, but there was never enough time for him in a public school setting, which isn’t designed for individualized attention. Homework time was a challenge, and although we managed to complete it together, he often forgot to turn it in—along with many class assignments.
As you might have guessed, Ethan has ADHD. He received a formal diagnosis in third grade and began medication, which greatly improved his focus during school and reduced classroom disruptions. While his grades improved slightly, they still lagged behind. He had developed a reputation as “the kid who always forgets to turn in his work,” which seemed to become part of his identity.
As we navigated his ADHD and established a 504 plan in his later elementary years, Ethan found an incredible group of friends. In a previous era, they might have been labeled as nerds or geeks. They openly discussed their aspirations for good grades and accolades at the science fair. Their passions for books, coding, and creative projects were infectious. Not only were they high achievers, but they were also kind, inclusive, and humorous. They wore their quirks like badges of honor, declaring that “normal” was dull and expressing no desire to conform.
Although Ethan initially trailed behind academically, he thrived in conversations and idea exchanges with his friends. They stood by him, never judging or excluding him, and embraced him just as he was.
By the time they all entered middle school, each had acquired a phone. They began communicating through Gmail and Hangouts, allowing them to connect outside school hours. This shift was transformative for Ethan. I noticed him chatting with friends while rifling through his backpack, exclaiming, “I almost forgot my science homework! Thanks for the reminder, Mia!”
I’d often find him hunched over his algebra homework, phone in hand, engaged in live video chats with friends. They would collaborate on particularly tough equations, hashing out solutions together, sharing laughs, and making homework feel less daunting.
At last year’s science fair, every member of Ethan’s friend group placed in their categories. Despite procrastinating and needing to make last-minute changes due to a supply mix-up, Ethan was motivated by his friends’ enthusiasm and dedication, pushing through to submit a solid project.
Then, just a few weeks ago, Ethan achieved his first all-A interim report card. Yes, he did the work. He committed time and effort, determined to complete assignments and study for tests. But I know his friends’ influence sparked this motivation. He listened to them talk about college and their ambitious dreams, and their willingness to work hard inspired him to keep pace.
I always believed he had it in him, but I sometimes wonder if he would have found the same determination to excel without this supportive group rallying around him with their impressive commitment to learning.
So, I am immensely grateful to these friends. As parents, we often worry about our children falling in with the wrong crowd and making poor choices. In Ethan’s case, he has found himself in the best possible company. I am truly thankful for these remarkable kids and their families.
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In summary, the support and camaraderie of Ethan’s friends have been pivotal in helping him thrive academically and personally. Their influence has not only motivated him to achieve but has also shaped his identity in positive, meaningful ways.
Keyphrase: “teen friendships and motivation”
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