Growing up, my family relocated frequently, and by the age of 10, I had lived in several different places, with the longest stint being just over two years. My father’s job often required our family to pack up and move when he received a promotion, leading to a series of new adventures—adventures that for me often meant becoming the new kid, enduring endless packing, and facing yet another upheaval in my social life.
While I quickly learned the art of making new friends and adapting to fresh environments, there was always a yearning for stability and belonging. I longed for the kind of childhood where I could store items in my basement and still recall their presence three years later. I envied my peers whose lives were intertwined with extended family—a network of aunts, uncles, and grandparents living just a few blocks away.
Determined to create a stable home for my future family, I resolved that I would plant my roots firmly in one place. So, when I was in college, my father announced that he and my mother were relocating across the country with my two younger brothers, I made a pivotal decision. I chose to stay in my college town to nurture the life I was building for myself. My parents supported my choice, yet the guilt of living apart from my family lingered. Ultimately, I knew my future husband was the one with whom I would establish my long-awaited roots.
Living far from family is undoubtedly challenging. The logistics of holiday gatherings often leave you trying to please both sides of the family, while the everyday happenings of extended family life can feel distant. Although technology like texting and video calls helps, there’s an undeniable feeling of being left out when you see photos of family gatherings on social media that you can’t attend. However, despite these challenges, living away from family also brings some unexpected perks.
1. No Surprise Visits
As much as I love my family, let’s face it—no one wants to greet their parents at sunrise, especially before coffee. With family residing far away, visits are planned, allowing for preparation that enhances everyone’s experience. I can stock up on their favorite snacks, and they won’t find me in my pajamas, frantically tidying up the house.
2. Sweeter Reunions
When my kids know we’re heading to visit their grandparents for our annual winter trip, their excitement rivals that of Christmas morning. They eagerly exchange texts with their grandparents for weeks leading up to our visit, reminiscing about past adventures and eagerly planning new ones. The anticipation makes our reunions special, and while parting is bittersweet, it helps us endure the long stretches between visits.
3. Building Our Village
With both sets of grandparents living out of town, we quickly realized that if we wanted to navigate parenting’s challenges, we needed to rely on our friends and neighbors. We’ve cultivated a rich community that has become our second family, creating bonds that are often stronger than those we might have if our relatives lived nearby.
4. Creating Our Own Traditions
While we make an effort to celebrate holidays with faraway family, there are times when we find ourselves at home, just the four of us. And honestly, it can be quite wonderful. There have been Easters when we opted for takeout pizza and Christmas dinners spent enjoying cereal under the tree. These moments have strengthened our family bonds and allowed us to establish traditions that our children will cherish for years to come.
Though the distance from family presents its own set of trials, it also opens the door to unexpected joys. Plane tickets for family visits can be exorbitant, and navigating medical emergencies from afar can be daunting. However, I am grateful for my decision to nurture my own family tree, which has blossomed far beyond what I ever envisioned. For more insights on creating family connections, check out this helpful resource on home insemination techniques. Additionally, if you’re interested in fertility services, visit Hopkins Medicine Fertility Center for excellent information.
In summary, although being separated from family has its difficulties, it also fosters a unique and enriching experience that strengthens our immediate family unit.