Even Good Kids Can Be Total Jerks Sometimes

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Last Saturday, as we headed to our favorite sandwich shop, everything seemed perfect. My kids had been exceptionally well-behaved. My daughter even folded the laundry without any prompting, and my son, in a surprisingly cheerful mood, saved me a few pieces of my beloved chocolate caramel candy bar. The atmosphere in the car was warm and inviting, leading me to entertain the idea of finally caving in and getting them that puppy they’ve been pleading for all year.

As we entered the shop, I almost blurted out, “Let’s go get that puppy today!” But just as I turned to share my excitement, my 13-year-old son shouted, “WE SHOULD NAME HER PENIS!”

This wasn’t a slip of the tongue. He was fully aware of the long line of customers, all engrossed in their phones, and he felt the urge to liven things up. He knew exactly what he was doing—being a total jerk to grab the attention of onlookers, despite my constant reminders to keep discussions about body parts to a minimum in public.

Once again, I had made the classic mistake of taking my well-behaved kids out into the world, only to be blindsided by their less-than-stellar public manners. Kids are funny like that, right? They can behave themselves at home for hours, but the moment you step into a public setting, it’s as if they have a secret mission to showcase their worst behavior.

It’s like they thrive on the challenge of making parents squirm in front of strangers who are quick to judge. They can sit through a meal at home without issue, but the moment they’re at a friend’s house, they’re gagging at the food and making a scene. And don’t even get me started on store visits—whining, crying, and dramatic flopping on the ground until you buy them that toy they “absolutely need.”

I’ve learned a lot as a parent, especially about the misconceptions I held about others before I had kids of my own. I used to think, “If they just tried harder, their kids wouldn’t act out.” Now, I’m the one in the corner, eating a big slice of humble pie, realizing that even the most dedicated parents can have children who choose to unleash their inner jerk regardless of past lessons or consequences.

Maybe they’re just having a bad day, or perhaps they’re feeling unwell but lack the words to express it. Who knows?

I wish I could say that things get better as they grow up, but I can’t. I have three teenagers who still manage to catch me off guard with their antics. After my son’s outburst in the sandwich shop, I was met with the familiar sight of judgmental stares from other patrons, each one silently judging my parenting skills. They were probably thinking, “Who lets their kid shout ‘WE SHOULD NAME HER PENIS!’ in public?”

The truth is, even well-behaved kids can have their moments of obnoxiousness. It’s just part of being a child. So, to my fellow parents, stay humble and brace yourselves. You never know when your child will surprise you with their antics, reminding you that today is not the day to reward them with that long-desired puppy after all.

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In summary, kids can act out in public despite being well-behaved at home, leaving parents feeling embarrassed and judged. As they grow, these moments can still occur, reminding us to remain humble and prepared for anything.

Keyphrase: “kids behavior in public”

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