As I settle into bed each night, my mind launches into a relentless spiral of thoughts. Did I lock the door? Is the baby’s cough serious? I should probably look it up online; she could have something severe. And while I’m at it, I need to order elderberry syrup from Amazon because it’s that time of year again. Ugh, I really spend too much on that site. I should just put my phone down and sleep — all I want is a good night’s rest.
You know, one of the hardest challenges for mothers is embracing vulnerability. Whether it’s societal expectations, our brain’s wiring, or hormones (aren’t they always to blame?), we struggle to let our defenses down. It feels like we must keep everything under control, which is utterly exhausting.
Anxiety was never an issue for me until I became pregnant with my son. I still remember the moment it hit me: we were preparing for a hurricane, boarding up windows and getting ready to evacuate when I experienced my first panic attack. I felt smothered, like there were weights on my chest. My mind raced with all the possible disasters. It was terrifying.
As the months passed, those panic attacks continued, especially after I welcomed my son. I initially attributed my anxiety to postpartum hormones, but soon realized it was a much bigger issue. I found myself overwhelmed and often brought to tears over trivial matters. This constant state of panic affected my job, my role as a mother, my marriage, and my daily life.
I vividly recall a day when I was trying to take my son’s monthly milestone photo. I was determined to capture the perfect shot for social media exactly on his five-month birthday; otherwise, I feared being judged by other moms. But he wouldn’t sit still, and the pictures came out blurry. Frustrated, I yelled at my daughter, who was trying to distract him. After a breakdown, I realized I had just had a panic attack over a simple photo for Facebook.
Looking back, I see that it wasn’t really about the image; it was about the struggle to balance motherhood, a full-time job, and my mental health. My nights turned into hours of racing thoughts. I started biting my nails again, letting anxiety dictate my life because I’d kept everything bottled up. Admitting I needed help meant confronting the problem head-on. When my husband would ask if I was okay, I’d smile and lie, “Yes, I’m fine.”
Why is it so hard to acknowledge that we aren’t okay? Why can’t we admit that we can’t do it all alone? I’m a perfectionist, and admitting my flaws feels daunting. I care about what others think, constantly worrying if I’m a good mom, teacher, friend, or wife. When people say they don’t care about others’ opinions, I often think that’s not true—especially for us moms.
The moment I realized my fears were preventing me from being genuinely happy, I knew I had to change. That realization was huge for me. After a heartfelt conversation with my husband, we decided to explore options for managing my anxiety.
Listen, it’s perfectly okay to be vulnerable. It’s fine to skip makeup when stepping outside. It’s alright if your kids stay up a little late or if you feed them Easy Mac for dinner one night. It’s acceptable if you haven’t checked everything off your to-do list or lost that baby weight. Taking a few hours for yourself to wander the aisles of Target? Totally fine. Crying? Seeking help? Absolutely okay.
It’s important to say, “No, I’m not okay.” There’s a significant stigma surrounding mental health, and we must work to change that. As mothers, we owe it to ourselves, our partners, and our children to pursue happiness. I will always face anxiety and my perfectionist tendencies, but I’m done letting them dictate my life.
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In summary, breaking free from the grip of perfectionism is vital for our well-being. Embracing vulnerability opens the door to authentic happiness and healthier relationships.
Keyphrase: Overcoming Perfectionism in Motherhood
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