When I was a working mom who was also nursing, I often referred to pumping as a “conference call.” It felt easier to excuse myself from meetings by saying, “I need to hop on a conference call,” rather than reveal the truth: I was about to seclude myself in my office, partially undress, and connect to a machine. I worried that admitting to pumping would damage my professional image, leading colleagues to doubt my dedication and focus.
As a lobbyist working frequently from the State Capitol, my “conference call” ruse often meant stepping away from budget meetings to walk several blocks back to my car for a pumping session in a parking garage. Recently, a female senator proposed a measure to create private spaces in the Capitol for nursing mothers. In response, a male senator jokingly suggested placing these lactation suites in the female senator’s office. “It’s not funny. It’s not funny. It’s not funny,” she quietly repeated. Eventually, her proposal failed to pass, sending a clear message: nursing mothers are unwelcome in government roles, whether as legislators, lobbyists, or advocates. Is it any surprise that I, too, quietly took my “conference calls,” grappling with the balancing act of being both employee and mother?
Despite my challenges, I realize I was one of the “lucky ones.” I had a white-collar job that allowed me to excuse myself for private moments and a supportive boss, even if my workplace was too small for legal protections. I even had a private office. Yet, the anxiety nagged at me: was I shortchanging my coworkers and clients by dividing my focus?
The turning point came when our office manager allowed an outside auditor to use my office. I prepared to explain to the expected middle-aged man that I needed my space for a “conference call.” Instead, I met a woman close to my age. After I explained the mix-up, she smiled and said, “No problem, but I will need a private place to pump.” I was momentarily at a loss for words, but our conversation about our babies and the challenges of pumping quickly unfolded.
Her confidence inspired me to be more open about pumping. To my surprise, I discovered that people were far more understanding than I anticipated. Sharing my needs with colleagues strengthened our relationships. During conferences, rather than retreating to my car, I started asking if I could use colleagues’ hotel rooms. One colleague always made a habit of getting two room keys, sliding me the extra without a word. Another not only shared her room but left snacks for me while I pumped. What began as acquaintances transformed into friendships.
By shifting my focus from myself to the support around me, I noticed that my colleagues were also navigating their family obligations. My boss, who was managing care for her aging mother, had no qualms about stepping out of meetings for her mom’s caregivers. A father even wrapped up a meeting early to take his son to karate. The more I opened my eyes, the more I recognized a network of family support, prompting meaningful conversations that deepened our commitment to our work.
When I shared my observations with my husband, he remarked, “You’re bringing your whole selves to work.” This experience set the foundation for my ongoing journey as a working mom. Even though I have since stopped pumping, my need for flexibility remains. I still occasionally excuse myself from meetings to pick my daughter up from preschool.
By making my family responsibilities visible, I hope to pave the way for future working mothers. I’m not on a conference call; I’m prioritizing my child. I am an effective employee, and embracing my whole self at work only enhances my performance.
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In summary, being open about the challenges of pumping not only transformed my experience but also fostered a supportive environment at work. By embracing my role as both a mother and a professional, I aim to create a path for others to do the same.
Keyphrase: pumping at work
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