As a parent who doesn’t drink, I’ve faced some curious questions. I’ve been asked if I’m living like a monk or how I manage to raise three kids without alcohol, as if it’s akin to surviving without air. I’ve received skeptical looks upon mentioning my choice, and what bothers me most about abstaining from alcohol is the feeling of being excluded.
Let me clarify: I don’t drink. It’s not that I’ve never tried; I did, primarily during my high school years and a bit in my twenties. To be honest, I never really found joy in it, though I get why others do. There are definitely days when my kids test my patience, and I catch myself thinking that a drink could help. But I have my reasons for choosing sobriety.
My Reasons for Choosing Sobriety
The first reason is my faith. I converted to the Mormon faith in my mid-twenties and remain active today. However, I actually stopped drinking before that. My father struggled with addiction to painkillers and alcohol, and he passed away when I was 19 due to those issues. Watching him succumb to substance abuse was a devastating experience that overshadowed any fun associated with drinking. He missed pivotal moments in my life, including my college graduation and wedding. For me, the memory of my father is inextricably linked to alcohol, and after his death, I decided to put down the bottle for good.
While these reasons are personal and straightforward, many people still find it hard to understand why anyone would choose not to drink. When I decline a drink or say I prefer my soda without a twist, it’s not a judgment against you. It doesn’t reflect poorly on your choices. Please don’t exclude me, my partner, or my kids from social gatherings because of my decision. We can still have a great time together, engaging in fun conversations and enjoying meals without alcohol.
I assure you, we can maintain our friendship even though I don’t drink. Trust me, I’m not here to judge you or convince you to change your habits. I’m just a dad juggling work and family life, with a knack for humor. I enjoy sharing laughs and have a feeling we have plenty in common beyond the fact that I’m sober.
I’m always happy to be the designated driver, and I’ll appreciate your jokes, whether you’re sober or tipsy. If someone gets a bit too rowdy, I might choose to distance myself—not out of spite, just because I’d rather not be around it.
Experiences in Social Settings
Recently, I attended a conference where many participants started drinking in the afternoon. I must have declined a drink a million times, receiving countless dubious looks in return. But once everyone realized I wasn’t there to spoil the fun, we all enjoyed a good laugh together. I wanted to shout, “See! I’m just like you!”
Losing friends over my decision to abstain from alcohol is disappointing, and it shouldn’t happen. If you have a sober friend, remember that their choice is deeply personal and deserves your respect. They’re not strange or untrustworthy, nor do they need convincing to change their minds about drinking. They simply prefer not to partake.
Building Inclusive Friendships
So, next time you’re planning a social gathering, invite them along. Show your support without making a big deal about their choice. Accept it and simply enjoy the company. Their reasons for abstaining are valid, and once you can embrace that, you can continue to build your friendship.
If you’re interested in more about personal choices and family planning, check out this resource on at-home insemination kits. Also, for couples navigating their fertility journey, here’s a guide that can help. For those looking into pregnancy-related resources, the CDC offers excellent information.
In summary, being a sober parent doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy life or socialize. It’s important to respect individual choices and foster inclusive environments where everyone feels welcome.
Keyphrase: Parent who doesn’t drink
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