An Open Letter to Parents of High School Graduates

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Dear Parents of High School Graduates,

As your child approaches the end of their high school journey, I want to take a moment to reassure you. This is not a checklist of tasks to complete before they head off to college. There are plenty of those out there, and honestly, they can be overwhelming. Instead, I’m here to tell you that everything will be just fine. Trust me.

Last year, I was in your shoes, feeling a whirlwind of emotions. As my daughter’s senior year progressed, I found myself grappling with fear. Fear of change, fear of her independence, fear of the unknown, and, frankly, fear of her leaving home. The realization that she was growing up was daunting.

The endless lists of things to accomplish felt like a weight on my shoulders. Did I do enough? Had I given her the right experiences? Was my love too much or too little? Had I been overprotective, creating a daughter who couldn’t stand on her own? When she told me she wanted to attend a large university, it took me by surprise given her background in smaller schools.

I could share countless worries, but instead, let me tell you this: during those final months, I often lay awake at night, paralyzed by anxiety, praying that my fears wouldn’t overshadow the incredible moments ahead. I kept my tears hidden, leaving the room when emotions struck so my daughter wouldn’t see my struggle.

Then came the day she was set to leave for college. I noticed her moving slowly, lying on the couch with our pets, silent and contemplative. Her expression mirrored my own from months prior: a mix of dread and uncertainty. Was I the one who passed this anxiety onto her? I embraced her, assuring her that everything would be splendid, and we needed to move forward. It was in that moment I understood I had to be strong for her; this wasn’t about my feelings.

The drive to her university was transformative. I focused on the positive, and we cherished every moment—from meeting her roommates and their families to witnessing her father and stepfather working together to set up her new space. When I watched her walk away, there were tears, but also a sense of renewal. A new chapter in her life—and ours—was starting.

Now, she’s back home for summer break after her finals. Here are some insights I’ve gained from this experience:

  • She is an adult now. I no longer have the authority to make decisions for her. It’s a process watching her navigate life independently, and while it’s challenging, she needs to forge her own path, even if it means learning through mistakes.
  • Our relationship has evolved, yet it’s stronger than ever. I’ve changed how I communicate with her. Instead of asking, “Are you doing this or that?” I now ask, “How often do you find yourself doing this?” This shift has encouraged honesty, and though some answers were unexpected, I chose not to react immediately. Our bond has deepened because of this trust.

One piece of advice I’d like to share (consider it a must-do): write a letter. The night before she left for college, I penned a heartfelt letter expressing thoughts I hadn’t shared before. I tucked it into her belongings, and when she mentioned it on a call, I felt a wave of satisfaction. Don’t leave anything unsaid.

Ultimately, life is different now. Different isn’t synonymous with bad. Some days are tougher than others, and nostalgia can be overwhelming. However, the best moments arise when I engage in genuine conversations with my daughter, realizing that I raised a remarkable young woman.

Summary

As your high school senior transitions into adulthood, remember that the journey is filled with emotions. Embrace change, foster open communication, and don’t hesitate to express your feelings. Writing a letter can be a powerful way to connect. The relationship you share will evolve, but it can grow stronger through trust and understanding.

Keyphrase: parenting high school seniors

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