When my youngest son was just a baby, he began sucking his fingers as soon as he could manage to get them into his mouth. Prior to that, he would gnaw on his hand just beneath his thumb, leaving it dry and chapped. It was clear that this behavior was significant to him — I had never witnessed a child so determined to get a hand to his mouth. He would often get frustrated and cry when he couldn’t hold onto it properly.
Initially, he would suck on three fingers at once, which I appreciated. It calmed him instantly and made my life easier, especially with two other toddlers running about. If he was upset, it provided comfort; if he was in a happy mood, it helped him regulate his emotions and practice self-control, especially when he was tempted to touch something off-limits.
Sucking his fingers also aided him in falling asleep. After dealing with two older children who relied on pacifiers, I found this new method incredibly convenient. Gone were the days of frantic searches for lost pacifiers. The fact that my youngest could soothe himself and drift off to sleep with his little “magic wands” was a blessing.
I thought he would naturally stop around the age of four or five, but that didn’t happen. When he started kindergarten, his teacher noted that he never sucked his fingers at school. However, the moment he got into the car after a long day, he would plug them back into his mouth, removing them only when he was eating or talking. At times, he even attempted to do both simultaneously because he was so attached to his fingers.
As time went on, my concerns lessened. When he turned six, I asked his pediatrician if it was concerning that he was still sucking his fingers. “He’s still young,” she reassured me. “His mouth is still developing, and it’s perfectly normal for a child his age to suck their fingers. Don’t worry about it.”
Yet, a year passed, and his habits remained unchanged. He showed no signs of reducing the frequency of finger-sucking and didn’t mind being seen in public with his fingers in his mouth. When he turned eight and had a growth spurt, my anxiety returned. He looked considerably older, yet he was still sucking those fingers, which was driving me up the wall. I resorted to bribing him with treats to get him to stop, but nothing worked.
Frustrated, I consulted the pediatrician again when he was nearing nine. I expressed my worries, thinking it was too late for him to still be doing this. “Have you tried nagging or offering rewards?” she asked as he sat outside reading with his dad.
“No,” I admitted. “Nothing has worked.”
“Then stop,” she replied. “Bringing it up may make him feel like he’s doing something wrong, creating unnecessary anxiety. He’ll stop eventually, and everything will be fine. Just let it go.”
Though it was challenging, I took her advice. People constantly asked why he was still sucking his fingers, expressing their concerns and suggesting unhelpful tactics like dipping his fingers in unpleasant tasting substances. This only made me think back to my childhood when a dentist had scolded me for my own finger-sucking habit, causing me to stop out of fear. In hindsight, I should have enjoyed it longer instead of switching to nail-biting, which left my hands looking terrible for years.
I remained silent as my son turned ten, still sucking away as if his fingers were candy. I didn’t want to be like that harsh dentist. My pediatrician was kind and offered sound advice, helping me realize that my desire for him to stop stemmed more from social concerns than health-related ones.
If you have a child who sucks their thumb or fingers, I recommend consulting a trusted orthodontist or dentist to ensure there are no dental issues developing, as prolonged thumb or finger sucking can sometimes lead to complications. My main concern was whether it might affect his self-esteem or if he was using it as a coping mechanism.
Then one day, unexpectedly, he simply stopped. It was as if a switch had flipped inside him, and he no longer felt the need to do it.
My son had sucked his fingers for a decade. During many of those years, I worried that perhaps I had weaned him too early or not provided enough attention, leading him to rely on finger-sucking for comfort. But ultimately, I was mistaken. He is doing well; his dental health is fine, and while he may need braces in the future, the orthodontist is just monitoring his progress. His older siblings also needed braces, having used pacifiers until around age three.
My son is capable of falling asleep independently, he doesn’t show signs of addictive behaviors, and he is happy and well-adjusted. It turns out that extended thumb or finger sucking is not as rare as one might think.
For instance, Lisa M. shared that her daughter, who sucked her fingers for a long time, was the only one of her children who did not require braces. Rhonda T., a mother of three, mentioned that while one of her children was a thumb-sucker with perfect teeth, the other two, who never sucked on anything, ended up needing braces for nearly two years. In fact, in some cases, thumb-sucking has even been beneficial for a child’s dental development, as Jennifer H. recounted that her orthodontist noted it helped widen her child’s palate.
Remember, most children will eventually outgrow this behavior, but if yours hasn’t yet, don’t stress too much. They’ll stop when they are ready, and they will be just fine.