Recently, while getting my hair trimmed, the stylist commented on her aversion to cigarette smoke. I boldly confessed my fondness for it. Having dabbled in smoking during my youth, I still occasionally feel a nostalgic urge to buy a pack. As someone in recovery from alcoholism, I fought hard against the temptation to pick up smoking again, recognizing I didn’t need another addiction to manage. Yet, there’s something about the scent that I find oddly comforting. I’m also drawn to the smell of skunk and find myself intrigued by gross things.
At first, I thought my preferences were unusual—maybe a bit eccentric—but it turns out I’m part of a phenomenon called benign masochism, which many people share.
Benign masochism, as outlined in a study titled “Glad to be Sad,” refers to our enjoyment of negative sensations when we know we’re in a safe environment. The thrill of mind over matter can be exhilarating. When we encounter feelings like fear, disgust, or sadness in controlled situations, we often find pleasure in them.
Led by psychologist Dr. Alan Green, a team of researchers discovered that many individuals derive enjoyment from activities that most would label as unpleasant. This is known as hedonic reversal. Why would anyone choose to immerse themselves in a scary movie or visit a haunted house? Who craves the racing heartbeat and goosebumps that come from fear?
Surprisingly, many people do, and it all comes down to our body’s response to fear. When we sense danger, our brains trigger a fight-or-flight response, releasing a cocktail of chemicals similar to opioids. Adrenaline, endorphins, and dopamine surge through us, creating a euphoric feeling. When we can enjoy this rush without facing real danger, we can bask in the relief of safety.
Another form of benign masochism is found in the enjoyment of sad experiences. People often seek out movies, books, or songs that evoke tears. Crying can be a form of self-soothing; it releases endorphins and oxytocin, helping us feel better. By choosing to engage with sad narratives, we can experience catharsis without the emotional weight of the circumstances. We are safe from the sadness that doesn’t belong to us.
Activities that cause a pleasant discomfort, like a deep tissue massage, an intense workout, or spicy food, are also examples of benign masochism. These experiences are categorized as “safe threats.” Dr. Green explained it well: “A roller coaster is a prime example. You know you’re safe, but your body doesn’t—and that’s where the pleasure lies.”
But what about our fascination with bizarre tastes or scents? Why do we willingly sample Jelly Belly’s unusual flavors, like “Stinky Socks” or “Dirty Dishwater”? Or why do we watch videos of pimple popping? Once again, it’s benign masochism at play. The curiosity of experiencing something repulsive, yet harmless, draws us to indulge in these oddities. Disgust researcher Dr. Sarah Thompson points out that experiencing disgust serves an evolutionary purpose by helping us avoid real-life dangers, like disease or social injustice. A common aversion to poor hygiene or racism fosters a healthier society.
An interesting example is the corpse flower, known for its foul odor resembling that of decaying flesh. It blooms infrequently, drawing crowds eager to experience its scent. Dr. Thompson suggests this reflects our emotional drive to understand the unknown without facing actual danger: “We want to know what a corpse smells like and how we’d react to it.”
In summary, our attraction to unsettling experiences, whether through movies, smells, or tastes, can be explained through benign masochism. It’s a safe way to explore discomfort, fear, and even sadness while remaining secure in our surroundings. If you find joy in these experiences, you’re part of a larger community that embraces the weird and wonderful aspects of life.
For more about home insemination and parenting, check out our posts on artificial insemination kits or visit March of Dimes for excellent resources on pregnancy.
Keyphrase: benign masochism
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