At 5 AM, my 11-year-old son, Jamie, is at my bedside, gently shaking me awake. He’s eager to share something fascinating he learned in science class yesterday, but he also wants to read a passage from the novel he’s working on.
“Sweetheart,” I reply, “I need just a moment. I’m really tired.”
“This is important, Mom!” he insists, dashing out of the room. I can hear him busying himself at the dining room table, his fingers tapping a rhythm as he starts his computer.
As I stumble into the kitchen, I notice that he has already emptied the dishwasher. For kids on the spectrum, facing everyday tasks can be overwhelming, so this small victory eases one of his worries.
I brew my coffee, watching him as he types enthusiastically, pausing occasionally to express excitement through gestures, before diving back into his writing. His current project is a science fiction novel featuring a humanoid robot that becomes self-aware, navigating a world where it appears identical to other robots but believes it is a real boy. It has elements of both Pinocchio and I, Robot, intertwined with reflections of his unique neurology.
“They think I’m just like the other robots,” he reads aloud, “but they don’t realize I have feelings and thoughts. I learn and mimic just to fit in. I want them to truly see me, but what if they don’t care? What if they lock me away?”
His words take me back to when I first began to notice his behaviors. I remember a day in the grocery store when he thanked the cashier, saying, “You must be a good person for choosing a job that helps others.”
“How old are you?” she asked.
“Three,” he proudly replied, extending his hand for a shake.
No medical professional ever suggested autism, given his early speech development and his affinity for hugs. He captivated everyone with his astute and literal observations.
However, as he grew older, his charm morphed into social awkwardness. Anxiety and mood swings began to emerge during his elementary years, along with sensory sensitivities. Bullying from peers and misunderstandings from teachers surrounding his hand gestures and social cues caused him significant distress.
He experienced meltdowns triggered by seemingly random events, and, despite therapy and countless meetings at school, years passed before we received a diagnosis. When it finally came, it felt like a heavy blow.
Accepting my son’s reality was a painful journey. I had to confront the parts of me that resisted seeing him for who he truly is. Fighting for his needs in educational settings transformed my perspective. I grew frustrated as educators focused on his challenges instead of recognizing his strengths.
I began to question why I was allowing others to mold my child to fit a standard. At home, we created a calming environment that allowed him to thrive. He built Lego spaceships with his sisters, helped his dad in the kitchen, and took peaceful walks with me, sharing dreams and aspirations.
We eventually moved him to a school that embraced diversity and discouraged bullying, where his teachers learned to accommodate his needs, allowing for breaks and quiet workspaces. Over time, his distress at school diminished significantly. He even earned straight A’s and became a school ambassador, actively supporting peers who were also struggling.
It took longer than it should have for me to realize that this journey isn’t about my expectations as a parent but about my son’s unique path. I’ve learned to step back and embrace the love I have for him. It’s difficult to admit that I cried upon hearing the word “autism” used to describe my child; the mother I once was felt shattered. I lost sight of his infectious laughter, his soft blonde hair, and those quiet moments when he would ask me about the universe as he drifted off to sleep.
Jamie has the remarkable ability to touch the lives of everyone he meets. The more I learn about him and autism, the less I feel the need to change him. He may face significant challenges, yet he possesses extraordinary qualities, including humor, intelligence, and love. He embodies the essence of the child I was meant to nurture and cherish.
I truly love being a parent to my autistic child.
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Summary:
This narrative emphasizes the journey of parenting a child with autism, highlighting the challenges and triumphs. It reflects on the importance of acceptance, understanding, and the transformative power of love in parenting. The experience of advocating for a child’s needs while appreciating their individuality is a central theme.
Keyphrase: Parenting an Autistic Tween
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