“Are you ever going to put that baby down?”
“Don’t you think you’ll spoil him?”
“You should teach him to self-soothe now before it’s too late.”
These were actual comments I received while my little ones were still newborns. Yes, even when they were just days old, family members, friends, and even some medical professionals questioned my decision to hold my babies constantly.
Looking back, it’s clear how ridiculous those remarks were. My boys are now 4 and 9, racing around so fast that I have to plead with them to take a moment and cuddle in my lap like they used to. At the time, though, I wasn’t certain that they would become independent eventually, so the criticism often got under my skin.
In reality, holding my babies nearly around the clock was not merely a preference; it was a necessity. Whenever I set them down, they would wail in distress. Sure, I could have let them cry it out, and maybe they would have learned to self-soothe eventually, but every instinct told me that if my baby was crying, he needed comfort. I followed those instincts, despite the judgment I sometimes faced.
Research supports the idea that babies genuinely need to be held when they fuss—not just because they’re adorable and have that heavenly baby scent. A compelling study published in Pediatrics examined the long-term effects of skin-to-skin contact for premature infants. Those who received this nurturing care not only demonstrated higher IQs and larger brain matter areas but also earned higher wages as adults compared to their peers who did not receive such contact. They were less prone to hyperactivity and aggression in school and had better attendance records.
While this study focused on premature infants, similar benefits have been noted for full-term babies. A 2012 study from the Cochrane Pregnancy and Childbirth Group found that full-term infants receiving skin-to-skin care had improved cardio-respiratory stability, higher breastfeeding rates, and less crying.
The benefits of holding your baby extend well beyond the initial days. An older study from Pediatrics highlighted that snuggling has lasting positive effects on a baby’s contentment and feeding patterns. Carrying your baby during the day can significantly lessen fussiness and colicky symptoms that peak around six weeks—something every parent of a colicky baby wishes to alleviate!
Moreover, holding your baby during painful procedures, like vaccinations, can greatly reduce their pain experience, according to extensive research. Skin-to-skin contact enhances breastfeeding success and fosters deep emotional bonds between parents and their children.
For those interested in the science, Dr. Mia Reynolds, a pediatric expert, elaborates on the critical brain development happening in those early months. She explains that the amygdala, responsible for emotional learning and memory modulation, goes through essential maturation during this time. Skin-to-skin contact activates this area, contributing to healthy brain development.
There’s a wealth of credible research confirming that it’s impossible to spoil a baby. In fact, many findings suggest that insufficient holding may have detrimental effects on health and development.
If only I could return to those moments and share this evidence with everyone who criticized my choice to keep my babies close. But like many new moms, I was often too exhausted to engage in debate. Thankfully, most parents have strong instincts that guide them, often without needing scientific validation to know that their baby belongs in their arms. The notion of spoiling a baby is simply unfounded.
If you’re looking for resources on pregnancy and home insemination, check out the CDC’s excellent guides at cdc.gov/pregnancy. For those interested in fertility boosters, take a look at this post too! And if you’re considering home insemination options, this at-home kit is a great resource.
Summary
Holding your baby is essential for their emotional and physical development. The notion that you can spoil a baby by holding them too much is a myth; research shows that nurturing contact has a lasting positive impact. Trust your instincts as a parent—your baby needs you!
Keyphrase: Holding your baby
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