One afternoon, my partner, Lily, was busy scrolling through her phone in the kitchen. I approached her from behind, wrapped my arms around her waist, and planted a kiss on her neck. She shivered a bit, turned around, and I decided to go for one of those exaggerated dip kisses you often see in romantic films. As we kissed, she laughed and held onto my shoulders. After pulling her back up, I winked and we shared another kiss.
At that moment, I noticed our kids observing us from the kitchen table, where they were tackling their homework. Our daughter, Mia, grinned at the scene, finding it sweet. However, our son, Ethan, looked like he had just witnessed something shocking, his mouth slightly agape and blue eyes wide with disbelief.
Lily and I have never formally discussed our reasons for being affectionate in front of our children, but I can share my perspective. My parents went through a tumultuous divorce when I was just nine years old. I don’t have many memories of them together, and the few that stick out are often filled with conflict. However, there’s one particular moment that brings a smile to my face: I remember them in the living room—my dad in snug jeans and black socks, my mom in a floral dress. They stood back to back, playfully measuring their heights. Mom was on her toes, trying to match Dad’s height, and when he caught her, they both burst into laughter. He then dramatically dipped her, just as I did with Lily in the kitchen.
I watched quietly from the hallway, filled with joy. That was one of the few times I saw my parents express love for each other, and it left a lasting impression on me. Unfortunately, my father passed away during his fourth marriage, and my mother is now in her third. That singular memory is a stark reminder of how little affection I witnessed in their relationships.
I want to ensure my children grow up with a different understanding of love. I want them to enter relationships expecting healthy, playful affection. I also want them to see that love isn’t just verbal; my parents rarely said “I love you” or went on dates. In contrast, I tell Lily I love her every day, and she reciprocates. We hold hands in front of our kids, and I take them shopping to buy flowers for their mom, involving them in the process. I explain to them how essential these gestures are in a relationship.
Lily is passionate about gardening. After we moved into a new home last year, I built her some garden beds this spring. While we were filling them with soil, Ethan asked why we were going through all this effort when neither of us particularly enjoyed gardening. I paused and asked him if he loved his mother. He nodded. “Good,” I replied. “So do I.” I gestured to the dirt, the garden beds, and the shovels, saying, “This is what love looks like. We help those we care about.”
I want to set an example that I didn’t have growing up. Love is an action that needs to be demonstrated through both words and deeds. I hope to instill in my children the comfort of showing affection freely, understanding its importance in their future relationships.
When Ethan reacted to our kitchen kiss, we didn’t feel the need to explain ourselves. Instead, I moved around the table, while Lily came from the other side, and we shouted, “Hug sandwich!” We enveloped him between us, giving kisses to his head. He pretended to resist, but eventually relaxed and wrapped his arms around us, enjoying the moment.
In this way, we are nurturing a home filled with love and affection. If you’re interested in learning more about family-building options, check out this excellent resource. And for those exploring the journey of parenthood, consider the BabyMaker or CryoBaby kits to support your dreams of starting a family.
Summary
In our household, my partner Lily and I make it a point to display affection in front of our children. Growing up, I lacked positive examples of love, which motivates me to ensure my kids witness healthy relationships. Through small acts of love, from kisses to hugs, I aim to teach them that love is an action that should be expressed openly and joyfully.
Keyphrase: Affection in front of kids
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