I often think about how different things might have been for Maya if she had just made it to college. She would have realized that turning 18 doesn’t mark the end of life’s possibilities and that it’s entirely possible to reshape one’s identity beyond the challenges, traumas, and expectations of their hometown or high school.
If only Jake or Mrs. Reynolds — or any of the educators or her guardians! — had taken the time to truly listen or offered the right words of support, Maya might have had a narrative to share rather than a tale of despair. If only her peers had received the encouragement they needed, perhaps we wouldn’t be discussing such tragedies.
These thoughts, along with numerous personal reflections and hopes for Maya, emerged during conversations with my high school students about the profound impact of the show. They shared how their lives seem to be racing ahead, constantly fueled by the smartphones in their pockets, and how the series felt eerily similar to their own experiences.
My students educated me about the show’s themes and graphic depictions, compelling me to watch it myself. As a teacher, coach, father, and mentor, I felt it was my responsibility to not only view it but to facilitate discussions around it. Moreover, given that many adult characters are my age, I found myself in a unique cultural position to relate to both the students and the show.
So, I watched. And watched. And watched. I was prepared to listen to my students with the same intensity because, notably, the series intentionally sidelines adult perspectives. Classic literature such as Lord of the Flies, The Alchemist, Romeo & Juliet, and Siddhartha aligns seamlessly with Maya’s narrative of legacy, the autonomy of youth, and the chaos of adolescent confusion. Yet, it was the stories shared by my students that captivated me the most.
I also shared snippets of my teenage experiences, which never made it into the show. Having faced my own battles with depression, mental health issues, and the shadows of suicide within my circle, I have cultivated a deep sensitivity towards these topics as an adult working with youth. Regardless of the controversies surrounding the show’s production choices and certain scenes that have garnered criticism, my primary takeaway was the urgent need for young people to hear adults openly discuss mental health and suicide.
While it’s crucial for young people to be heard, they also need to hear from their parents, teachers, and mentors what Maya, Jake, and their peers lacked. Consequently, I initiated a small campaign with my students using the hashtag #13ReasonsYouBelong. I encouraged my freshmen, juniors, and seniors to write brief notes of encouragement for their classmates — and I joined in as the “adult.” Their task was to jot down something they wished they had heard during tough times or what they believed their peers needed to hear.
I began tweeting these notes, and soon, students were stopping by their lockers to read the uplifting messages, leading to a wave of them crafting their own notes. The response was remarkable — over 300 notes were affixed to various lockers, and in true adolescent style, students were snapping photos and sharing them on Instagram (they assured me that only older folks use Facebook and Twitter).
I urge all parents, teachers, coaches, community leaders, and counselors to seize this moment to share your narratives of survival, resilience, or the realities of living with mental illness or depression using #13ReasonsYouBelong or your own variation. As these children become engrossed in shows like this, it’s vital for their parents and educators to engage with them about their thoughts and feelings, and to share stories from life beyond high school.
My goal is to reach as many teens and adults as possible, offering hope to those quietly struggling during middle and high school years. It is equally important to encourage adults who have faced mental health challenges or suicidal thoughts to share their experiences with youth who may be navigating similar paths.
They are listening, reading, watching, and sharing at an astonishing pace. So begin sharing your stories. Feel free to use #13ReasonsYouBelong or your own expression of support.
Consider these questions:
- What message would you convey to younger children grappling with mental illness, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts?
- What words of kindness can you extend to a generation that can quickly insult, shame, or bully one another through technology?
- And for those of you who have encountered suicide or survived attempts, what wisdom can you impart to young people who were once like you?
No matter what battles you face, keep pushing forward — and then share your story. Leave a note of encouragement for others to cherish and disseminate.
For those interested in exploring parenting and family dynamics, check out our piece on home insemination kits here. Additionally, for a deeper understanding of pregnancy and in vitro fertilization, this Wikipedia article is an excellent resource.
In summary, it’s vital to foster open discussions about mental health and support among teens and adults alike. By sharing our experiences and encouraging one another, we can create a more compassionate and understanding environment for future generations.