Navigating motherhood without a partner is undeniably challenging. The struggle intensifies when you’re a single mom trying to balance everything on your own, often feeling as though you’re drowning. The reality is that many single moms find themselves shouldering the majority of the responsibilities, dedicating their lives to ensuring their families thrive.
It’s crucial to recognize that having a co-parent, whether they provide emotional, physical, or financial support, does not diminish the challenges faced by single moms. I’ve been a single mom since my son was just three months old. While I’ve been fortunate enough to have a supportive network, the reality is that I handle nearly all aspects of raising my child and bear the full financial load. Even when we lived with my parents for a few years, I was the one managing everything related to my son.
Although my son’s father has always been present in his life, our co-parenting relationship has not been as seamless as I envisioned. Initially, when we moved closer, I hoped for a collaborative parenting dynamic, but my expectations didn’t match reality. As time passed, it became clear that his lifestyle wasn’t conducive to being a hands-on father, leading him to gradually reduce his involvement.
I remember a particularly tough night last summer when I reached out to him, pleading for more support. He had spent the school year dropping off and picking up our son but had never really engaged with him beyond those brief encounters. When summer arrived, he seemed to vanish, leaving me overwhelmed. Thankfully, we settled on an arrangement where he would take our son for a few hours each week, which provided me with a much-needed respite.
However, that time is seldom free time. I often use it to tackle errands, clean the house, or catch up on work. Recently, another single mom remarked that because my son’s father is still involved, I’m not a “true” single mom. This notion that there are hierarchies among single moms is unjust. Whether we have support or not, we are all committed to our children’s well-being, fiercely ensuring they have what they need.
When my son fell ill with a high fever, his dad was on vacation abroad, highlighting the potential gaps in support. Even upon his return, he tried to downplay his cold, while I juggled caring for both my son and myself. Being a single mom with any form of support doesn’t imply that life becomes easy; the planning needed just to step out for a few hours can be overwhelming, often leading to more sacrifices on my part.
Yes, there are many single moms out there who lack even the smallest breaks. They often have to bring their children along for errands, and they work incredibly hard without the luxury of a moment alone. All of us deserve a break, yet support often comes with its own complications. Friends and family have their own commitments, and relying on them can lead to disappointment.
Single moms are genuine heroes, no matter their circumstances. We hustle daily, even when we feel like we’re failing. The chaos of parenting can make it hard to recognize our own strength. Yet, we endure, and we share a common bond in our struggles.
It’s unfair to dismiss single moms with co-parents as “less than” simply because they receive some support. A “real” single mom is anyone navigating the complexities of parenting without a partner. There’s a distinct difference between a co-parent and a partner; single moms are, by definition, alone in the majority of their responsibilities.
We must support one another rather than create divisions over who qualifies as a “real” single mom. We all face enough societal judgment as it is—why add more? Our focus should be on uplifting each other as we navigate this challenging journey.
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In summary, single moms, whether they have a co-parent or not, face unique challenges that should be acknowledged and respected. The title of “single mom” should not be diminished by the presence of support; instead, we should come together to celebrate our resilience and the love we provide to our children.
Keyphrase: Single moms with co-parents
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