I never anticipated being judged for choosing an epidural during childbirth, especially since it didn’t even take effect! Let me clarify: I fully support epidurals and, as a mother of three, I opted for one each time—not out of weakness, but because I wanted to embrace the experience of bringing my children into the world. Kudos to all the women who have gone through labor without one; you’re amazing! For me, it was a simple choice: do I want to feel pain or not? No shame in my game!
Recently, while discussing my first delivery, I mentioned my unsuccessful epidural to another mother. To my surprise, she retorted, “Oh, you had an epidural? That means you haven’t really experienced labor,” before turning away to chat with someone else. It was quite disheartening.
My First Experience with an Epidural
From the moment I felt my first contraction, I knew I wanted an epidural. After several hours of contractions, the anesthesiologist arrived—his demeanor was less than friendly, and before I knew it, he was gone. Almost immediately, I began to experience unusual symptoms: numbness in my chest, tingling lips, and uncontrollable shaking. However, I could still feel everything below my belly. It was as if the epidural had done nothing!
Despite my repeated insistence that I was feeling every contraction, it wasn’t until I was fully dilated and ready to push that they realized I wasn’t numb at all. I could still move my legs and shift positions on the bed. I had two later pregnancies with effective epidurals, so I knew what it was supposed to feel like.
The Delivery
When it came time to push my son, I labored for an exhausting hour and a half. Every push was agonizing, and I could feel the tearing with each contraction. Just when I felt I couldn’t go on, my partner, Jake, encouraged me by saying, “Honey, I can see him!” That motivated me to push harder.
The doctor swiftly delivered my son, commenting, “Oh dear, if we had known he was going to be this big, we would have opted for a C-section.” After ensuring my son was healthy, the doctor turned his attention to me, noting that I was bleeding excessively. He began stitching me up without allowing the numbing shot to take effect, and soon I found myself surrounded by a flurry of medical staff monitoring my vitals and discussing the risk of a blood transfusion. Despite the chaos, my focus remained on my newborn.
I asked Jake, “Doesn’t he look big?” and when a nurse confirmed he weighed nearly 10 pounds, I was astounded. The nurses had to clean me up multiple times due to my son’s messes. His head measurement was off the charts for his age, indicating he had caused significant tearing. Recovery was brutal, with many stitches leaving me unable to sit comfortably, and I struggled with bladder control afterward.
Addressing the Judgment
When that woman suggested I hadn’t truly experienced labor because I chose an epidural, I felt a surge of frustration. My first child weighed 10 pounds, and I experienced every moment of that delivery. I had to watch as my son was tested frequently due to his size, and I bled for nearly nine weeks post-delivery.
Let’s be clear: pregnancy, labor, and motherhood should never be a competition. We should support one another instead of shaming. I carried each of my three children for nine months, delivered them, and nurtured them. My smallest child was still a hefty 9 pounds. Don’t ever underestimate a woman’s experience based on your own.
Further Reading
For more insights on pregnancy and to explore the world of home insemination, check out this blog post on at-home insemination kits and consider visiting Healthline for valuable information.
Conclusion
In summary, every woman’s journey through pregnancy and childbirth is unique, and we should all respect and uplift one another, regardless of the choices we make along the way.
Keyphrase: Epidural experience during childbirth
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